What happens with your life when you don’t know your personal core values and live according to what others expect from you? Then what happens when you know your values and still step into situations that are not congruent to what’s important to you. Know your values and make conscious choices that align with them.
Welcome everybody. This is Gail Kraft, host of the Empowering Process Podcasts. I’m so excited to be here with you today, we’re going to share a little bit about living your values and how that relates to stepping into your purpose, how that relates to hanging on to your power and how that relates to being present in the moment in order to achieve what it is that you want to achieve.
When we talk about values, we’re talking about those core values that are you that are you alone, and maybe, maybe, you’re not living up to your core values.
I’ll tell you a little story about me, and then we’ll get into you.
There was a time when I literally didn’t even understand my values. I was working in an organization that had these marvelous objectives. These marvelous values were written into their mission statement on the walls, all so beautiful.
And yet the culture of the organization was completely incongruent to what they preached where their values, and I felt so out of sync.
I’ve really felt like a step out of time, being with them and no matter what I did or how I did it, it just didn’t seem right.
It didn’t seem right for them, and it didn’t seem right for me.
It really was one of the most unsatisfying team positions I ever had, and I literally usually love what I do.
And so, it took me a while after I left that organization and started really seriously doing some self-reflection that I realized that I was out of sync with who they are.
There is no blame. This is who they are, and that’s fine, we’re all, whether it’s an organization or an individual or relationship, who we are.
What you create is all OK.
It doesn’t mean it’s going to align with who I am and what’s important to me, but I had to understand what that was.
I thought I knew what it was what we all have as values. You know, truth, trust, love, blah blah blah and it was not until I elicited my CORE values that I understood what they are.
So more about that later. I want to talk about what are the indicators that you’re out of balance with your values.
What ones are you supposed to live in. What is your environment is not your dream?
You’re living values that maybe your parents gave you, or maybe a religious upbringing gave you, or maybe society gave you.
Or maybe the company you’re working for gave you.
Or maybe your significant other gave you.
But they they’re not yours!
And you’re feeling a little bit like a fraud because things just aren’t you.
You’re taking the steps because you’re supposed to take the steps, but you could care less if you took the steps right now.
When you’re stuck in this kind of supposed to situation, sometimes we’re afraid to step out. Take a little sidestep on our own.
And so, I’m asking you if you’re in a supposed to situation to step out.
List out what those values that you’re living up to and one by one, see if any of them resonate with you. If none of them do, then you need to do the work to find your own.
If some of them do at least hang on to those right one or two, hang on to those as you go through the journey of finding your own. Work with a great coach, they can help you for sure.
Or maybe you’re feeling trapped; so many of us get into situations.
I know I have been in relationships where I felt trapped for sure.
I’ve been in companies where I felt trapped.
I’ve been in situations where I felt trapped and there was no way to get out.
And every single time I allowed myself to get into those situations for reasons that were not congruent at all with my values with my eyes wide open.
Not so now that I know my core values and once you know your core values before you walk in, you want to check, do a little check of your top five not all of your core values, but check if these meet your top five. Force-rank them.
If you’re not meeting my top five, then I have to say I’m just not going there.
It’s not going to work, so thank you for the offer, but no thank you.
I have said no to clients.
Thank you for the offer and no thank you.
I have said no to that cool opportunity others might have jumped at because I’ve learned that when I say yes because it looks like a great opportunity, but it doesn’t line up with my core values, it doesn’t work because we’re not on the same page.
So, think about, you know, do you know your core values?
And that’s the third thing.
Some people don’t even know what their core values are.
They think they do, but when they go through identifying them, they might be a little surprised.
I know that there is a process to elicit your core values, and when I’ve gone through that process with clients, it’s a long process, it’s a very painful process, but it’s an enlightening process on so many levels. When we are done with the process 100% of the time. They are surprised at what they have discovered about who they are and what’s important to them. But when we look back at what has not worked in their life, they realize that,“whoa, If I knew, then what I know now, I would not have made that choice.”
And that’s the point, we want to make conscious choices.
We want to be sure that when we step into something new, something different, when we want to take a risk, that there is a chance of success because it aligns with who we are.
It’s all about knowing who you are.
If you know who you are, you know your purpose.
If you know who you are, you know how to step into your power.
When you know who you are, you know how to be present in the moment.
And when you have those three things at any given moment, you have success and whatever success means for you.
What success means for you is not what success means for me.
That’s another thing you find out with your core values.
So, for example, back to me, my top core values I never would have put the 1st two ever on the list without going through the process of eliciting who I am.
Number one is community. I need to know that I have a community of people that every once in a while I can tap into, I can see once in a while, that I can joke around with. That’s my community.
Then I have my tribe and those are the people who have the similar core values. We don’t all have the same, but really what’s important in life they know who they are and they’re not afraid of who they are, and they’re willing to take who they are to the next level and then the next level and then the next level.
They’re willing to test their boundaries.
They’re learning, they’re growing, they’re becoming.
What’s so important to be aligned with the top one, community.
The second one is tribe, then it’s love, then it’s authenticity, and then it’s truth.
Very important truth, authenticity, Love, tribe community.
I never would have said these were my core values. Maybe authenticity and truth, because truth is who I am, but the others would never have come up without going through the process of bringing out who I am.
So, bring up who you are. Don’t be afraid of who you are. You’re marvelous. There’s no one in this world like you. You are a snowflake.
And if you need help let me know.
I would love to help elicit core values for any of you.
And if some of this helped or resonates or makes sense with you, share it out, share the wealth.
If you loved this, make a comment, subscribe so that you don’t miss the next episode. There’s so much more. And I can’t wait for the ask Me Anything segment.
You’re going to love the ask Me Anything segment.
You’re going to love the interview segments when people that I know who have actually applied the purpose, the power, the presence in their life, and how their lives have changed.
I love to hear their stories and I’ll be sharing that with you too.
This is Gail Kraft, The Empowering Process.
Have a wonderful day and we will be talking again soon.