Have you ever had a friend that you really enjoyed being around except when you watch them erupt over what appears to be something small or maybe something they have no control over? Maybe they were cut off in traffic and were ready to pull over and get into a face to face, toe to toe argument. Maybe the neighbor’s dog left one too many gifts on the front lawn and they had had it. Maybe you notice that they react frequently to social injustices or regional disruptions with aggression from their “overwhelming passion.”
If you’re anything like me, when someone I know reacts in anger, it sets off my own fight or flight response mechanism. I can choose to get angry with them, which is usually counterproductive. I can choose to reason with them to calm them down, which is usually futile. I can choose to understand their anger, even when I disagree, but also choose to distance myself from the fire, which usually keeps me safe but also distances the relationship.
Anger is a sign of frustration, disappointment, irritation, or feeling unloved. When anger takes over you are reacting rather than responding with solutions. It indicates you are feeling dis-empowered: disrespected, distrusted, devalued.
Aggressive anger is you trying to take back control and exercise dominance, intimidation, manipulation, or control over another.
This anger aggression is what frightens others. For me, it means you are not going to respond rationally and that I might physically, emotionally, or psychologically be in danger. I am going to create distance and take myself to someplace safe from the fire this aggressor is creating.
I also recognize that frequent anger may mean you have your own deep fear you have been masking. You are trying to take control and make sense of your life in some manner, compensating for your perception of lack of power somewhere else in your life.
And yet, your anger needs to be vented and resolved in a healthy manner or it will smolder, getting ready to erupt later.
Listen and pay attention to what you are really reacting to. Anger is telling you something is wrong and when you can observe, relax, and make conscious choices, that energy can be channeled into passion and action for change.
You always have the power to choose how you respond. The practice of conscious choice and being present in the uniqueness of the moment allows you to take control, accept responsibility, and be aware that your purpose, power, and presence belong to you alone.
Let go and tap into your purpose. If you want to know more, go ahead and schedule a complimentary session with me today at: Complimentary Coaching
If not now, when?
Leave a Reply