Join Gail Kraft and her guest Kris Whitehead CEO & Founder at New England Custom Remodeling, Co-Founder of Think to Succeed, Founder of ICONIC Alliance, Coach and Apex Executive at APEX Mastermind as Kris discusses truth and integrity and his philosophy of living the life you deserve.
- Be willing to do the damn work!
- Focus my attention on the results I want.
- Commit and never quit
- Refuse to accept defeat.
And it all begins with Knowing WHAT you want.
Once you do, it’ll amaze you how damn motivated YOU are, what you’re willing to do.
Gail: Hi everybody, it’s Gail Kraft here and this is The Empowering Process Podcast and we have with us my really good friend Kris Whitehead, and I would love, love, love for you to hear some of the things he has to say about purpose, power and presence and how he’s brought that into his life.
Kris is also a coach, and he has an organization that he runs called Iconic Alliance and he’s part a master mind group called Apex down in Texas so he’s quite a busy man.
His focus is really on faith, family, fitness and finances and I’m going to read a few notes here that he gave to me about the types of things that he talks about.
Kris works with clients to increase organic sales to increase profits while decreasing your workload and take all of that and actually have a personal life. Can you imagine?
Being profitable and have a personal life. So welcome Kris.
Kris, thank you so much for your time. I think this is going to be fantastic.
Kris: Yeah, I really appreciate you inviting me on your podcast, and you know one of the reasons I think we resonate so much is, believe it or not, we both feel this is not about me. We are in service.
I’ve gotten to a place in life where, regardless of the kind of money that I make, I realize that being in service to other people is what fires me up. It’s what gets my juices flow. And what I’ve learned through that process is how to take care of me as well, because I know that a lot of people don’t do that, and that is one of the reasons, like I said, I think we resonate so well, is we’re here to serve, and whatever I can do to help your audience understand better about living life from my experiences, at least they maybe will not take some of the roads that I did and hopefully have some positive results from hearing me, so I really appreciate your invite.
Gail: I wish we could go longer because you have so much to share, I’m going to try and cram as much as I can, and I’ll probably have you back for more, but one of the things that resonated with me recently with you is you had a post out there that touched on truth and I know that you and I have had many conversations about integrity about showing up, authenticity and truth and how important these are.
Can you talk a little bit about that and what it means for you?
Kris: Sure, so I mean, you know at the time of this recording I’m 47 I started my first business at 24 and like a lot of us, I had some programming from my family. Some of it was really, really, good. Some of it was not so good and when I got into business, I took some of those behaviors that weren’t so good and brought them in.
As an example, my job was to get the cheapest labor and charge the client the most amount of money. That’s what I thought business was all about. I didn’t understand what my cost of goods were, or all of those metrics that make a business run.
Where that landed me as a salesperson was sometimes not necessarily lying by saying anything, but definitely lying by omission.
And what I did, the pieces of the puzzle that I didn’t put together, and this is the craziest thing is that I believe that we attract to us in business and in life who we are right now.
So if I’m fibbing just a little bit, the kind of people that I’m bringing into my life will probably be fibbing just a little bit, not those people life that are living at a higher level of integrity.
What I know this now they can smell it from a mile away and most people don’t come directly to your face and go “You’re a liar,” “You’re a crook,” they just back away from you.
All you’re left with are the people that are just like you now!
Well, I didn’t understand that cognitively. I understood it in my solar plexus. I understood it by the stress that I felt. I understood it by how I’m living inside a wall.
The client is asking the XYZ question, and I don’t think that I should tell him that I’m making a 50% margin or if I do tell them that, in 30 minutes he’s not going to want to use my service, Right?
So, a couple things happen.
And again, this is business, but it’s actually all of life.
It just so happens because I’ve been a business owner for more than half my life. I look at the lens of life through owning a business because it is a lifestyle.
It is not something that you do, it’s the way that you live. Right?
What I started realizing Is that, if I could increase my honesty with myself, just focusing on where those areas are, that I would naturally start revolving in those higher realms of people, and the way that it worked was this.
Let’s say I charged $1000 for a service. Well, I started meeting other people that were highly successful that were charging $6000 for the same service and then I started hanging out with those people and listening to the kinds of things they talked about, listening to the principles that they dealt with, listening to the foundational things that they built everything on.
I realized, not only did that resonate, it was me. I realized I didn’t really know how to do what they were talking about. It resonated with me and that is when I began this whole thing called personal development.
And to be really, really straightforward.
I thought I would read a book.
I would download the information and I would act as if I did do that thing I learned.
The problem was, at the moment the next stress hit me, I would revert right back to how I was acting without even being aware that I was doing it.
And so personal development to me has now become a lifelong journey of digging inward to refine, and this is how I, you know, whenever something hits my solar plexus, I’m able to pause. I’m able to breathe. I’m able to ask myself what are my core foundational values? Am I operating in them?
It is about who I’m getting ready to communicate with, operating in my values, and let me just start investigating this experience without my feelings being involved with it so that I can find out whatever the truth is.
Because at the end of the day, whether someone agrees or disagrees with me is not relevant. What is relevant is that I tell the truth and that was one of my biggest hang-ups, not always telling the real truth.
I was telling my version of it.
In my experience has been since then, the more that I lived in my truth, the more that I lived on foundational principles for everything, because I don’t get into the fancy stuff, I got soul.
Once I go that I realized what I was doing a long time ago was just making me more confused and what I started seeing from highly successful people is they spoke about foundational things all the time. The reason is because so many people are trying to build their tower without the foundation, their leaning tower of Pisa on a foundation that’s broken, and eventually that House of Cards is going to come crumbling down.
As I understood more truth, I started investigating more truth, and as long as I’m willing to stand on that truth, whether you or anybody in the world agrees or disagrees with me, I can lay my head down on the pillow at night.
And with myself, I know that I’m in integrity no matter what happens.
If I lose the business.
If the house gets blown apart.
If I get divorced.
If I have to move thousands of miles away.
if no one on connects social media.
My self – image is not based upon anything external myself. My image is now based upon things that are internal.
And I have increased that understanding and the love for myself.
Because of the it’s hard work to be honest, it’s hard work to stand in the truth. But as I do that, something really magical happens, more people are more interested in what I have to say, and that’s been my experience as I’ve leaned into my truth.
The opportunity has been given to share that truth more and more.
Gail: I will honestly say that last comment is true. Here is how we actually connected.
We knew each other.
Yeah yeah yeah.
He’s this guy who does this thing and you’re like yeah yeah, whatever. And then you put something out on social media, and I went “holy crap who is this man?”
And I sent you a private message and said we need to talk because I think I need to know more about you and what it is that you’re doing. And we’ve been like buds ever since, right, right?
Gail: So that statement “act as if” also that you made a statement about “people can smell things out” Let’s talk about the smelling things out. I know that you can smell things out and both you and I at time will send each other a message.
Gail: Watch out. And even where you are like “yeah, I already know girl.” Can you put something to that or a feeling or an experience or an example?
Kris: Alright, so I’m going to share something with you.
It’s a book I’m listening to right now and it is a pseudoscience book. OK, it has a doctor that wrote the book, but it’s going into more the mystical kind of stuff, which means everybody in the American Medical Association does not agree with this or with each other thing right?
Gail: Seriously, but it’s true.
Kris: And I’m not saying this is for everybody, but I am saying this because I’m a truth seeker.
You know, just because I’m of a certain faith doesn’t mean I throw everyone else in the world that doesn’t believe in what I believe in out the door and say I don’t agree with you, cross my fingers.
I actually want to investigate it.
I want to understand why people believe what they believe.
What culture brought about all that kind of stuff, right?
Because as I’ve done that, what I found is it solidifies my truth even more because I’m willing to be wrong.
And that is a scary place to live in, right?
Here’s The funny thing.
This gentleman is named Doctor Joe Dispenza. He just wrote a book called Becoming Supernatural and what he has been able to do as a doctor is verify that we as humans actually emit energy.
Now everybody knows that they have scientific machines that can measure energy and he has collected this data and has been doing this for decades.
But as he collects data Dispenza is taking people through different types of meditation, call it prayer, whatever you want, it focuses the brain.
The brain is able to consume the information, create more energy that creates certain things that happen in your pituitary gland and all sorts of other things that actually make their energy get bigger because people are being selfless with it in the moment. When we start being selfish that energies starts being sucked back into us, right?
So, the reason people can feel things like this intuitive 6th sense that they have is because they’re starting to lean more and more into the truth, and that field gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, right?
And there have been lots of scientific studies that have shown that you could be sitting right where you are and if I put myself in a meditative state, which it’s just Alpha waves in your brain, most of us operate in beta waves, OK, which is the very much how you currently go hard, fast, fast, fast. They are very quick waves, but we can slow that process way down to Alpha waves and I can actually change your heartbeat to the pace of my heartbeat. That’s been scientifically proven thousands of times.
Well, if the mental can change the physical and we’re only using a small percentage of our brain, what happens when we start doing all of those things that allow our brain to start working more coherently, more harmoniously with ourselves?
What science is starting to show is that it not just affects us individually, it affects us collectively. As an example, one of the studies out there is where they would bring people together and meditate for 5000 people. They would all pray or meditate at the same time about a certain city. What would happen is crime rates in that city would drop while they were praying. Car crashes would drop in that city while they were praying. People would be healed from illnesses.
It just is statistics and when they would do it, things would happen. They would stop, things would rise back again. Then they would come back, and they do it again and it was a consistent pattern over time.
So, for me, truth, right? Not your truth. Not my truth. But the truth is a very hard thing to find in this world because we’ve been getting these massive images in the back of our heads that allow us to get perceptions, Right?
In your perception and my perception might be different, but when we’re willing to investigate things down until we find the singularity in it and we live on that, the energy from that is so strong that as we magnify that, by focusing on it, we can have effects that are so far beyond anything that we ever comprehend it.
And it starts with actually accomplishing the goals that you put forward in your own life.
Gail: That’s definitely a book that I’m going to listen to. I have a library that’s piling up right now.
I want to get through this and get to another question. So very very interesting because I always say energy is everything right?
Gail: And you know, you’ll see Tony Robbins say change your Physiology and you can change your emotional state and that’s the quickest way guys, to do that. So yes most definitely.
And then your statement about “act as if.” Yep, right, so we might disagree on this.
Kris: Uh huh.
Gail: Right, because with the acting of “as if” your subconscious mind has to believe it.
Kris: Yes, yes.
Gail: OK, because otherwise you’re lying and your subconscious mind is going to check out on you, right?
Kris: Correct, right?
Kris: So, we won’t disagree.
Gail: So, tell me about acting as if.
Kris: So, what I mean by acting is if is that so many of us number one, we don’t know ourselves.
All of us as humans fall into several different categories of how we receive information, how we delegate that information in our own heads, and then actually give that information back out.
There are a lot of people that act as if, like if you are stretching yourself to a goal.
So, let’s say you bumped your head on the ceiling, you realize that you don’t really like that, and you want to move to the next step in your life. So, you start doing things that can get you that result.
A lot of those things are going to be scary.
A lot of those things are going to be at least outside of your comfort zone.
What most of us do when we get into that zone is our fight or flight instinct kicks in and into our body. All that stuff I talked about, that energy, when fight or flight kicks in, all of that energy comes back and we use it internally, because our body has to use.
I mean it makes things like your pupils dilate because your blood is flowing into the organs that are going to either get you out of that situation or they’re going to get you ready to fend off whoever is there, right?
And a lot of us have things that have happened in our past that are very traumatic, and we’re anchored to those things in the past. So that sympathetic nervous system kicks in with that fight or flight. The organs start pumping the blood to where we were anchored to a fear that’s in the past.
Whatever we’re experiencing now is reminding us of something back there.
And guess how we respond without even knowing?
We respond as the victim from that situation in the past.
So, when I say act as if, it doesn’t mean be thrust into a situation and act like Superman and bullets will bounce off your chest.
No, acting as if means I know that I might be going into a firefight.
I’m going to go research and find the bullet vest that protects me.
I’m going to realize that that vest has openings on either side, so when I stand there and act like Superman, act as if I’m Superman. You know the one thing I’m going to remember not to do is turn sideways where I have no armor and get shot, see.
It’s now making a conscious choice about where you were going to go, what you were going to do, and how you’re going to act in that process. Even if your body is telling you I don’t want to do this now.
I’ve been going through a process called 75 hard, 75 hard has a bunch of physical things that are a part of it and it has to be done every day. If you don’t do those things, you have to start over at day one, right?
A lot of those things that I do take a lot of time management. It takes a lot of understanding that hey, I’m going to have to rearrange my schedule because I made non negotiables here.
It’s not comfortable, but what I did is I chose to act as if I’m going to be good for my word to myself?
I made a commitment to myself.
It doesn’t matter if you know I completed this, it doesn’t matter if people on social media know I completed this. It doesn’t matter if my wife knows I completed this.
The only person that it mattered to was me, and even though it’s painful to do two exercises a day, one of them being outdoors in the middle of winter, even though a gallon of water is tough, even though I can’t drink any alcohol for the entire time that I’m doing, even though I have to read 10 pages of a book every day, even though I have to structure my diet, all of those things.
I made a commitment to me, and so I chose to act as if I would be in integrity, integral to my choices no matter how I’m feeling in that moment. And what I’ve experienced and what my clients experience is when you make those kinds of commitments and you’re willing not to make excuses for yourself through the process that you end up becoming the person you’re acting as if you already are.
It’s really that simple.
Gail: It’s that simple. It’s really amazing! So, I did it 75-Hard too, as you know. You kind of inspired me to take that chance.
I joined and it’s true, when you are near the end, you’re not gonna lose it, you’re not going back to one, there’s just nothing in the world, I don’t care. I was, one night, 11:00 o’clock at night sitting there trying to get the last of the water down, right? ‘Cause you’re going to do it! But, how it transcends into our live with commitment, with integrity, with learning that anything that you want to do, you need to schedule your day around. And I mean I wake up every morning now I do my normal things and because of you and 75 hard, I now think about how am I going to get this done now.
You know, well I get to. It’s like no, not today, I have this, but I also want to get that done. How am I going to fit that into the day? And sometimes I front load because that’s what I learned at 75. Hard if you don’t front load 9 o’clock at night comes really quickly and you’re like Oh no.
Kris: Half a gallon of water at 9 o’clock at night does not become your best friend. That is for sure.
Gail: Yep, Yep for sure.
Kris: Too late, too. I mean what would happen for all of us, right?
Kris: Because what came out of it for me was not for me, but actually one of my companies. I realized that a lot of my guys were not being as efficient as possible. What would happen if we started creating our five most critical things every day that must be done and then an integrity list?
And so, once you complete those five things, you’re done for the day except for your integrity list.
Anybody you made a promise to.
If you can’t keep it, you gotta reschedule with them.
And, if you know that you need to keep it, and you have rescheduled, then you cross it off today’s list so that you can lay your head down at night with tomorrow’s list already ready so that you can wake up ready first thing in the morning.
Go through your routine, get these things knocked out.
What’s happening is double, triple, quadruple production rates out of people that are doing it.
And that’s all because of the front loading.
Gail: It’s crazy, isn’t it?
Kris: It’s awful looking.
Gail: All front loading, all front loading. So, and that’s really interesting because right after 75 Hard I have a list of things that I procrastinated on because they don’t have to be done, you know it’ll be nice if they got done well.
I’m like, nope, nope, I’m going to focus on one.
And everyday I’m going to chip out until it’s done, and when that’s done, I know that another one comes in the queue and I’m going to chip out until it gets done.
And so I’ve been chipping away at things that I’ve like, you know they don’t have to get done, but one day I’m gonna say crap, this now needs to get done, so before it gets on the need list, I just slip it in there.
Kris: And what I noticed for me, and I’ve also noticed it with quite a number of other people. I think many, many people in the world really act in such a way that says I’m going to steal my way into an action. What 75 Hard has taught me and what life has taught me, but 75 Hard was a big exclamation point on this lesson. I now act my way into feelings, so you know what? So what, your spouse is yelling at you. You don’t have to respond in like kind. So what, one of your employees decides to quit! Right? It doesn’t have to mess your day up so. Right?
I don’t feel like writing that book today or that post or doing this podcast. That’s OK. I’m not basing my life on how I feel. I’m basing my life on the goals that I said that I would do. And I’m just doing them knowing that I will feel better later for it. That’s what 75 Hard really has helped me with.
Gail: Right, it’s in an amazing.
So as a wrap up, Kris.
I know that you’ve got your own business that you’re creating now. That is Iconic Alliance which 75 Hard is an intro into. You’re very involved with Apex Mastermind and you’re now one of their trainers, executives, and one of their coaches. Congratulations, that’s a lot of work that got you there. So, tell us a little bit about that and how people can get in touch with you.
Kris: Thank you
Sure, so the easiest way to get in touch with me if anybody wants to is either follow me at ”The Kris Whitehead” on Facebook. You can send me a friend request, but if I don’t know you yet, I probably won’t accept you until I do get to know you. It’s just where I am.
You can go to iconicalliance.com to see more about that. And if you’re in the New England area, specifically New Hampshire or Massachusetts, go to new-england-custom-remodeling.business.site and you can find us there as well. But mostly I’m on Facebook and on Instagram. I’m ”The Kris Whitehead” on Facebook and “kris_whitehead_official” on Instagram.
You can contact Kris on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekriswhitehead/
Visit his website at:
Or drop him an email at: email@example.com
And you know, Gail, my goal and I think it’s yours is.
Well, I just want to have beautiful conversation with people that are going for it in life, right?
It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, but if you’re willing to not make excuses for yourself and you’re trying to add benefit to this world, we can be friends.
If you’re on the other side of things where you play the victim game, just kind of read some of my posts.
I don’t think you want to talk to me too much ’cause I don’t allow it into my circles, that’s all.
Gail: Awesome. So honestly, thank you very much Kris for giving me your time, I really do appreciate it. And thank you for listening.
This is Gail Kraft, author of The Empowering Process and if something came up for you from listening to this, just message below and maybe I’ll get to do an Ask Me Anything and cover it more deeply or get in touch with Kris. He’s an amazing man.
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Thank you very much everybody.
Have a great day.