“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” – August Wilson
You may have heard about Maslow’s Hierarch of Needs and therefore know that he presents a theory that states your desire in life is to achieve Self-actualization. What Maslow clearly demonstrates is that you must first master each level of need before you can achieve the next. In this case, self-actualization is not attainable without first mastering a true sense of self-esteem.
Like everything in life, self-esteem has its polarity where you experience a belief that you are not worthy. You may Judge yourself to be less than another, live with a feeling of self-doubt, or have a deep sense of insecurity. Some of you may even believe you do not deserve more.
All of you have had this experience at some point in your life. It is when this is the prevalent belief and a root cause that prevents you from taking initiative, pursuing to conclusion your goals, or allowing you to accept conditions that are not supportive of your ability to live a healthy and happy life, that it becomes cleat that it is time to stop and take back control.
Your perception is never set in stone because your feelings can always be changed. Self-esteem is simply an opinion you have of yourself and a belief that you can consciously change.
Make a list of your capabilities. As you do this you begin to realize that your lack of self-confidence is not related to your lack of ability. It is a belief rooted in your focus on unrealistic expectations, a focus on failures, or a focus on values you allow others to place on you.
Begin a daily practice of journaling. In this practice go back and remove all negative language choices and all negative perceptions of your self or others. Note any goals or objectives you list and bring them down to what you are capable of achieving. Congratulate yourself for doing this work, you are amazing.
Each day that you journal, if you miss a mark congratulate yourself for what you did achieve. Begin to build positive yet realistic views of yourself and the situations in which you are involved.
As you continue this journaling process, setting achievable goals, celebrating successes, you start to build an accurate sense of self-confidence. You learn to avoid unconscious choices that are outside your capabilities. You also learn to make realistic goals and build your belief in what you can achieve.
This process of peeling back the layers of doubt and building a foundation of successes requires you to be realistic with what you can achieve, be brave with what you confront, and be confident that you are worthy of even more.
It means making conscious choices.
Take control, accept responsibility, and be aware that your perspective, communication, and results belong to you alone. You know it’s time for even more.
And you know you don’t have to go there alone.
If not now, when?
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