Have you or someone you know used phrases such as; “Just kidding,” “I didn’t mean to say that,” or “I wasn’t serious?” How about prefacing a statement with: “Please, don’t take this the wrong way,” “I don’t mean anything bad, but…” or “Can I give you some constructive criticism?”
If you are using phases such as these on others, what are you thinking about yourself?
In order to understand the impact, you must recognize that your brain thinks in pictures and feelings and you translate these into language to communicate. So, what feelings do you create for yourself and others when you choose language that evokes hurt or negative feelings and pictures of failure or lack?
Many of you may not even be aware of the words you use on a moment to moment basis out loud, but more importantly to yourselves.
Negative words cause a feeling of failure, defeat, or unworthiness and creates negative choices or non-choice, resulting in missing opportunities, thus, creating more negative thoughts.
Create a Conscious Change
Begin to pay attention to your thoughts and words. Maybe carry a notebook and write your observations down. Recognize that the choice of words you use indicates where you are emotionally in your life. Let’s begin to shift to more of a result focused, forward thinking mindset.
As you become aware of a frequent phrase or negative thought pattern, consciously choose something different to say.
Suggested language shifts:
- I didn’t mean to say that – Take responsibility for the fact you did mean to say that, maybe not out loud. You might say nothing or “The point I am trying to make is” or “Let me put this a better way…”
- Please, don’t take this the wrong way – If you have enough time to be aware that what you are about to say could be hurtful, then stop. Take one more second to say what you want in a constructive and caring way. You might say nothing or “let’s take a moment to discuss some observations I have that might help you to move forward.”
- You use negative words – Words like can’t or phases that mean you are unable to do something closes you off to moving forward in our life. You first need to own your choices with statements like “I choose not to,” Every time you see a negative word, cross it out and choose a phase where you own your choice instead.
The pattern
There is a routine of speaking that you get into and you become unconscious of what you say and how you say it.
- A pattern of negativity can get created and the only way you change this is by becoming consciousness of the language you use.
- When your approach to life and yourself becomes more about what you can do, your choices become more evident and you become aware of what can be done to love living this life full on.
- Pay attention today and become aware of the words you use and notice opportunities to shift you words.
Success is there for you right now. All you do is take control, make conscious choices, and be aware that your language choices belong to you alone. Moving forward happens when your focus, language, and thoughts move you in that direction. You know it’s time for even more.
If not now, when?
You don’t have to go there alone.
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