“The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.” Erik Erikson
Has there been a time in your life when you were in a relationship, a job, or a place that you just did not want to be in? Maybe there were things happening that did not make you feel great. Choices you were expected to make that felt very wrong. Or lies you were telling people because you did not want others to know how bad “it” really was.
There have been times where I have felt I was lost down the rabbit hole, finding myself in a place or situation that had me cave in on myself. Knowing this, I have become pretty great at recognizing the signs and making changes to shift my life.
From my perspective, the most important lesson you can get in this life is that you absolutely need to know who you are, truly at the very core.
What are your personal non-negotiable values? What are your gifts and talents that are yours alone? What characteristics make you up that explain what drives you and energizes you to move forward in life?
What are your fears and how do you understand them, get comfortable with them, and then release them? How do you make choices congruent with who you are that bring value and truth to this life you are living? How do you accept responsibility for what shows up in your life in a way that opens opportunities for growth and perspective?
In order to answer these questions you must know yourself and love who you are, warts and all. This is a process to clarity and opens your doorway to answers. It gets you out of being stuck. It releases your fear and anger. It creates opportunities where none existed before.
Go ahead and take a moment to reflect on who you are. Answer these questions for yourself. Then ask, what would change in your life if you made different choices. What would no longer be happening if you took control of your life and were completely aware of who you are and what you stand for? Reflect on your own level of self-awareness and challenge yourself to get to know the real you who has been whispering to you your entire life.
Here’s some perspective for you to consider. Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham developed the Johari Window on Self-Awareness which describes 4 parts of ourselves.
Open self: This is the part of you that you are aware of and that others are also aware of. For example, I know I am an extravert. Because I am social and outgoing and make an effort to connect with as many people as possible, others also know this about me.
Blind self: This is the part of you that others are aware of, but you are not aware of. For example, I used to view myself as a person who avoided conflict and always created harmony. Some time ago I received unanimous feedback from my team that, although I am great leader, I like to shake things up and rock the boat. Through my own Soul work I have discovered that this trait is actually a core characteristic of who I am.
Hidden self: This is the part of you that is known to you but not known to others. For example, I am seen as an extravert and love the company of others but deal with anxiety when in a crowd for too long.
Unknown self: This is the part of you that is unknown to you and unknown to others. For example, fears that I might have that are blocks and restrictions that I am not even aware of.
Knowing your Self is knowing the Universe. You see others more clearly. You trust your choices and act on them more readily. You build truth and trust with you and therefore create that with those who you encounter.
Take the time to be more Open with yourself and say hello to you. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and love what you see. Connect with someone who can guide you without judgement, hold space for your discovery of Self, and believe that you are so worth the effort of getting to know you right now.
The inspiration is yours, the motivation comes from you, and the dissolving of blocks and restrictions is a result of your conscious choice. Choose to say hello, I am here to show you how.
If not now, when?