All posts in Kraft Your Actions

Rejection, Real and Imagined

Unwanted2

Have you ever had the feeling that what you are doing misses the mark? Have you ever been stuck, even temporarily, in a situation where you knew you were not wanted?

Whether in your personal life or in business, feeling unwanted or rejected is something you probably have experienced at some point in your life. Finding the root, exploring what this feeling is telling you, and acting on resolution are keys to finding your way through to a healthy outcome.

Rejection can be painful, whether real or imagined, and this feeling stems from a need to belong. The human race is a tribal animal and when you feel shunned, unwanted, or ignored you feel cut off from “family.” When this happens it is important to examine the situation, connect with who you really are, and create a plan of action for swift resolution.

Part of feeling whole includes receiving affirmation from a steady, reliable, and trustworthy source yet many of you also have a profound desire for deeper connection. This sense of belonging emotionally, spiritually, and universally brings a strength and an anchoring that can sustain you through these “unwanted” moments. This deeper connection with your Self is the only thing you have command of.

Find the root

Rejection is like a seed planted in your life through the experiences you have. Being denied love at some level is its basic root. Your early experiences later rises up at the intensity felt at the root.

Being unwanted in a certain circumstance may be a reality but how you feel about that situation and how you navigate through it is totally under your control. Explore your feeling and think of the first time you may have felt this way. Are you reacting to the actual circumstance you are currently in or are you reacting to something from the past?

What are some of the examples of past events that may be showing up in your current reality?

As a child you might have been deprived of a close relationship with parents:

Moms outside the home and is not around

Dad may work long hours away from home

One or both parent(s) devote too little time to you

One or both have passed away

You may have had some form of abuse in your household:

Verbal abuse such as “you never do anything right” or “you are stupid!”

Physical abuse creates immediate fear and confusion

Sexual abuse creates an immediate victim reality and creates a sense of rejection

These are simply examples of root causes to help you explore what your reality might be. Take out some paper and begin to journal about your thoughts around what your first recollection of feeling exactly like you do right now might be… This is your root of feeling unwontedness and one for you to explore.

What this feeling is telling you

This feeling of rejection also has a solid foot in fear; and fear is a tool your subconscious mind uses to keep you safe. Sometimes this is appropriate and sometimes your reaction, as you discovered earlier, is a reaction from your history, your past experiences.

So what are you being protected from? What is the lesson your subconscious is trying to tell you? What is the gift you receive from this past and current experience? How can you bring this lesson to the present and incorporate it into your daily life?

Open up to your Self and explore the possibilities and the opportunities of learning from your original experience and realize that today’s reaction may be dis-proportionate to your actual reality.

Resolution to a healthy outcome

As with all dis-empowering states the first and most powerful step to change is to change your physiology. Sit up straight, raise your chin, breathe deeply and smile! Remember all the positive things that also have happened this day and know that you have the power to change everything.

Immediate change – Remember, you are not your feelings but you are so much more. These feelings are not reality, but are the past seeping into the present. Imagine these as an object that you can remove from You and put aside in a chair. Then you are able to have a conversation with You about being present now and the reality of today. And, if you are, in fact, being rejected, shunned or unwanted, so what is your next step?

Subsequent change – write out your options to remove yourself from this situation of being unwanted. With each option if fear arises then examine what this really is about? If you cry, let this flow as this is simply energy moving through you. Change requires the movement of energy and crying is a release of pent up energy. Make your list, address your concerns in a positive manner and create your plan for change.

Final change – It is now time to execute the plan you created. Along the way you may have a moment of hesitation, of second-guessing, or of fear. You made a plan and addressed your concerns. Re-read and re-write your resolution to your concerns. Look for help to navigate through this and set yourself free!

Finding your way through to a healthy outcome requires taking an honest look at your root reaction, your current situation, and your alternative choices for change. Change your perception, change your physiology, and change your situation. You have the power to control your life, go ahead and take the reins.

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When Knocking on The Door is Not Enough

mainFor many of you, the search for the right pathway and the means to achieve your goals seems to be the mystery of all time. It often comes down to being at the right place at the right time and knowing the right people when you are ready.

Is it really just dumb luck or is there something else at work here? If it’s just happenstance, then what is the point of planning, projecting and envisioning the life you were meant to have?

Although it seems like some people have all the luck it truly is that these people are open and aware of the opportunities around them each day and know when to be still, and just let the door open. They are working with universal laws of nature and settle into the natural flow.

The Law of Gestation

There is a time for everything to come together. Honor the amount of time it take to realize your objective.

Law of Rhythm

What you focus on, you bring into your life. When the pendulum is down, what are you focusing on:

  • Your bad luck
  • Your lack, whether it be of finances, good health, helpful friends
  • Your anger

There’s a rhythm that occurs at all times and, if you don’t like where you are, focus on where you want to be.

These are just two of the natural laws of the universe to govern the ebb and flow of your life. What can you do to start tapping into these laws and begin “holding space” and allowing your objectives to unfold? Begin by creating and stating your intentions.

Intention is desire in action. Where there is intent, there is purpose and there is action

Hold a conscious intention of the thing you desire. State your intention with the presupposition that this, in some way, is already happening and with the desire for guidance or support. Be sure you are intending to do no harm and your desire is in harmony with you. Trust how you feel when you state your intention and change it if any part of you objects. For example, if you are looking to make more money in your life, then you might state this intention this way:

What more can I do right now to bring even more affluence into my life in a way that is completely in balance with my highest purpose and created from love?

  • Focus on the realness of your intention as if this already exists
  • Think, speak and act as if you already have it
  • Take inspired action as the ways and means to make it a tangible reality
  • Detach and allow the perfection and simplicity of the process to provide the desired results

Trust and the doors of opportunity you knock on will open. Let Kraft Bravery and Your Business help you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Struggling for Solutions

Overcoming hurtles often requires creative thinking.

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words, ideas or solutions? If you are like me, this might even be a daily challenge. When you find yourself creatively challenged, struggling to find that next client, or stuck in the same old rut then it’s time to shake it out and get rid of your cobwebs.

Before you begin, absolutely give yourself credit for having the ability to think creatively in the first place. You’re reading this post aren’t you? That shows you have the willingness to get out of your current frame of mind, break free and move forward and this is great news, isn’t it?.

In the past, was there ever a time where you ran into an obstacle and needed to think creatively to find a solution? What did you do that helped you solve the problem? If you think about it you can see you do have the skill to think creatively, all you need to do now is just sharpen this skill. What can you do to refine that imagination muscle and become even more aware of the potential solutions available now; practice being open to possibilities.

Exercises for your mind

  • Take an ordinary household product (aluminum foil, cereal or bottled water for example) and re-brand the product. How else could this product be used? What marketing strategy, advertising or design should you engage in to bring awareness to this new way of using this product?
  • If you were asked to redesign 2 miles of a downtown city area, what would you do differently? How would you change the traffic, buildings, or transit system? What other uses for this area would you incorporate into this design?
  • If walls could hear and speak, what do you think they might say? Pick a room in the house (dining room, kitchen, or den) and over a given day, what stories do you think you would hear?
  • Write a complete story using no more than six word. Think like a poet using just the right word for just the right perspective.

Tap into your curiosity (What if the world was perfect, you had all the resources needed or there were no barrier to your success) and let the ideas simply flow. Record your thoughts or write them down without editing. What would happen if this solution were not found? What would not happen if this solution were not found? What more can you do right now to bring the perfect ending to this problem?

When you practice looking at things differently, you build the confidence you need to enhance your creative thinking skills and find yourself open to being even more aware of possibilities and solutions flow smoothly and effortlessly to you and it’s nice to know that, isn’t it?

Take action right now, you know you are ready to let go and change your life right here and right now. Contact Kraft Bravery and Your Business and get even more out of your life, your career and your business today.

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Why Can’t I Make You Happy

 

Conflict Between CoupleHave you or someone you know ever tried to fix a problem by making someone else happy? Have you ever said words such as “what is it you need me to do?” Have you ever felt frustrated in a situation that seemed to be spiraling down and out of your control? You try to please people because you are afraid of being alone, of not being liked or of being judged yet this can have a negative impact on your personal relationships and it is a losing position to be in for your career.

There was a time in my life when I did whatever it took to make others happy; I called it being “flexible.” During the day I made customers, bosses and peers happy and during the evening I made my family and friends happy. I was meeting everyone else’s needs yet didn’t even know what mine were? Can any of you relate to that?

I found myself not wanting to walk in the house when I got home, I found myself frustrated driving to the office, and I found myself crying in the Lady’s room before meetings. Even worse, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS WRONG!

I still lost friends, I still lost jobs and I definitely lost myself. If you or someone you know is in this position even a little bit there is great news, YOU CAN CHANGE this around. The great thing is that once you start down this path of self-discovery it gets easier and it is fun. Are you ready for the secret? Do you believe you can handle the change? Are you willing to put some thought into yourself? Well here it is:

Love yourself, love those you interact with and look at problems as opportunities to expand your heart.

Take a few moments right now and write down the most recent thoughts you’ve had about yourself. Do you hear yourself saying things like “I can’t believe I did that,” “I can’t do anything right.” Or “I’m not good enough?” How can you please anyone else if you are unhappy with yourself? Let’s practice right now and take these statements and change them to positive reflections of yourself. Things like “Wow, look what I just did,” “Marvelous, what can I learn,” or “I am fabulous and have exactly what it takes to succeed,”

Mistakes, missing the mark, are the moments in your life where you can grow and become more than the amazing person you already are right now. Problems present themselves when you are ready to grow and they are there for you to love yourself even more as you figure them out. Here are some steps you can take to get started.

When you find yourself asking “what are they going to think of me” stop and take a breath. If this “thing” is something you want to do, if it causes no harm and if it resonates (feels right) with you then say out loud “I love the choices I make and I am ok with what others think.” Practice really feeling good with your decision to let it go. Love yourself and respect the fact that others may not agree. People all have different histories and different perspectives so there will always be someone who disagrees.

Problems are there for you to learn and grow even more. You are presented with a chance to get a gift and a lesson with every challenge. Before making a decision to react ask yourself “what is the gift in this for me that will have a positive outcome and is intended for me to grow even more?” Then listen to the very first answer you get. You are learning to love yourself even more with every answer.

You can take the next step now because you are confident about where you are. You find that you truly love who you are and trust your response to challenges with the end result being that what others think is just not an issue. Begin your journey to being happier and watch as new people come into your life, old problems melt away and exciting opportunities present themselves to you.

More steps to knowing your purpose and your power are yours. Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much more that we can accomplish when we’re together

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Hot Gossip

Or is gossip really hot? Have you ever walked away from a conversation with someone and felt drained or exhausted? Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling hurt, upset or angry? Chances are you are reacting to a dialogue of harm you just participated in. Think about your most recent scenario and what exactly was that discussion like? Is it possible that the majority of that discussion was hurtful to someone and gossip based; destructive rather than enlightening and constructive? Gossip is harmful to the person being talked about and it is also harmful to you.
When there is a gap in details we tend to make stuff up and fill in the blanks. You probably know the communication exercise where a story is whispered to one person and by the time it goes around the room the end result is completely different. This is what happens with gossip; the truth is not really being told, but rather a filtered version of what the speaker believes to be true.
Take a moment and reflect on exactly what your conversations are like. You might find many of them are at the expense of another person. When you engage in this type of dialogue are you at your highest level and do you understand how this behavior might affect how people relate to you?
In the very first job I had, my breaks and lunch times were spent with the same group of ladies. What I discovered is that when one woman was not in attendance the others gossiped about her. I quickly realized that I probably was a subject of discussion when not present and made a comment that “we are not all perfect sitting here right now so who are we to judge?” That did not go over really well but it did begin my journey of asking questions like; “what exactly is the intent of this discussion right now? Does this serve the highest purpose possible?”
Gossip also affects:
Your Honesty and Self-Esteem
People begin to see you as a perpetrator of gossip and, even worse, you will begin to see yourself in this light. People will wonder about you and will not feel safe sharing information. As you continue down this path chances are you do not trust yourself and you may be feeling conflicted and confused.
People Get Hurt
Have you ever been the object of gossip or false rumors? Then you understand how harmful this is. Even when the stories are false, you feel betrayed, embarrassed, and angry. When you gossip about people it may be because you’ve just gotten into the habit of this type of dialogue. Whatever your reason, listen to your words and assess the intent of each conversation.
Karma
Everything is energy and as you put out information that is not constructive you create a field around you that attracts like-minded people and events. You are, therefore, most likely associating with people who gossip. Your conversations are at the cost of someone else and others are holding conversations at the cost of you. When you change what you talk about and how you speak you change your energy, you change the people you associate with, and you change your choices in life. You have the power to choose the high road, the highest purpose, and the best possible outcome.
The language you use reflects your beliefs and values and ultimately your results. Are you ready to cool your language and make a change right here and right now? Go ahead and let Kraft Bravery and Your Business help you hone your language and get even better results right now
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The Mystery of Words

Do you find, at times, you rant to yourself or to others and use words such as “this is killing me,” “This is too hard.” or “I’m stupid?” Have you ever taken the time to examine how you feel when you use this language, how this affects those around you or how this might determine who and what is attracted to you? Your proclamations are dramatic and prophetic. Your choice of words is a reflection of your energy, the vibration level you are at and, like a magnet, this vibration attracts the people you associate with and determines what opportunities you are aware of. Wouldn’t it be great if you could raise your vibration and attract better choices in your life simply by changing your words?

The words you use reflect your state of mind. Even when you are joking your words mirror how you really feel. What you speak is the truth for you, therefore you create truth from your words. Take a moment and get curious about your language. Are there other choices you could have made to better express yourself in a more positive manner?

What you say, hear, and believe about yourself alchemizes into your internal dialogue and creates the parameters by which you make choices throughout your life. Why not live at the highest vibration? Why not live being aware of the most powerful choices? Why not live with reduced stress and increased joy?

Are you ready to begin? Listen to your language. Begin with disempowering words such as can’t and try and replace these choices with more empowering language. Rather than use can’t try using difficult or challenging. The word try presupposes failure. Why not presuppose success?

Every time you catch yourself using less than empowering language, rephrase and reframe what you are communicating. If you are unable to at the moment, take time a little later write out potential alternatives. Circle any negative word and re-write it again until you have a powerful positive way to communicate your intention.

Embrace your new way of communicating and revise your language into a more powerful, updated reflection of you. Kraft your language, Kraft your life, and Kraft your results today. Kraft Bravery and Your Business can help you change your life today. Go ahead and contact us today.

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Blowing Your Training Budget

How often have you sent your team to training only to find, 6 weeks later, nothing has changed? How often have you yourself gone to training, only to find you return to your previous routine and thought processes? Why is it that you want improvement yet seem to miss the mark?

When selecting a training course, business leaders many times are looking to change something in their culture such as improved communication skills, increased sales, or excellence in management execution. The problem here is in the training selection process and then in the follow through.

Your selection process

Exactly what is it that you are trying to achieve? Is what you want truly in alignment with your company’s core values? Are you willing and able to follow through and do what it takes to commit to the successful incorporation of this learning into your processes and into your culture?

There are many stories where an organization spends training dollars on their management team so they learn how to do a better job at hiring and retaining excellent resources. The managers may even have a script or a program to help with the selection process. They check all the boxes and follow the process to the letter and hire the perfect candidate. Why is it then that within 2 years that resource is gone, either leaving the organization or being asked to leave?

Based on the screening process, this candidate thought they were entering into a certain culture with specific values. During the screening process, the hiring manager’s selection process was based on a set of criteria that was placed upon him/her and may not really be in alignment with the company’s true value system.

This is not the fault of the training provided nor is it the fault of the organization’s leadership team. This is the fault of a belief that given the right training an organization’s culture and results can change. The real nugget to success and improvement is getting to the core of what your company’s values really are, openly and honestly; warts and all. Then your search is for the candidate that aligns with those values, a win-win.

Your follow through

You are a leader that understands your company’s core values and you seek training that supports and enhances these values. So why is sustainable and lasting change missing the mark? What is going on when your team, department and company is psyched and ready to go after training and still fizzles out within 2 months?

Practice… we all need to practice change, step into it on our own time and look for support along the way. According to the 2010 Executive Coaching Survey, conducted by the Conference Board, 63% of organizations use some form of internal coaching, and half of the rest plan to.

The problem still lies in that coaching is just a small part of a manager’s job description, less than 10% of their time is focused on coaching and most of that time is really the old one-to-one management meeting.; giving reviews, holding occasional meetings and offering advice. Effective coaching focuses on behavior shifts, specific actions and exploiting strengths.

Part of the training budget should also include training leadership with outside coaching. Having an outside coach who is focused on your results and detached from internal politics propels results forward as this coach is focused on leadership skills and change management. This coaching is asking rather than telling, is provoking thought rather than giving directions and is holding a person accountable for his or her goals.

So stop blowing your budget on training and seeing no real tangible results. You just need to invest these dollars wisely in programs that fit with your values and take the necessary steps to support the integration of this training with coaching for your leadership team. You know you are ready to bring your business results to levels beyond your wildest dreams. You know you are committed to being seen as an industry leader and innovator. You know you have the desire to invest wisely for lasting results. Just go ahead and make that commitment to you and your team today. Hire a coach to help you focus on your true core values and begin integrating lasting change that reaps true results on your investment.

Kraft Bravery and Your Business, together we identify key core values, set just the right goals and develop an on-going program to propel you towards your success. http://gailkraft.com/contact-us/

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What a Bummer

Even the happiest person you know has experienced times in his or her life where things just were terrible. You are one of those people who have a life that is not always smooth. You have a plan, you have a direction and something throws you off track. When this happens you are free falling out of control and there is a potential for the negative energy that shows up in your life to take over.

There is plenty of advice available to help you get past these moments but when you are physically, mentally and emotionally breaking down it is difficult to hear chin up and it is difficult to believe everything happens for a reason.

Let’s take a little different approach then, shall we?

It is my belief that there are two certainties in the universe. The first is that we are emotional beings and every emotion boils down to love or anger. The second is that everything is energy and we can control the energy in our lives once we set our intention to do so.

If these are true, what is happening when the negative energy enters your life and things are not going as planned? You place more value on the situation than you should and by doing so, you draw in more negative energy. The cycle now feeds on itself and it becomes difficult to pull yourself out. You begin to care about the opinion of others and lose focus on your actual goal and why this is so very important.

You need to get past personalizing the situation as it has nothing to do with your worth. What is truly happening is that something has changed in your life and what was working before is no longer doing so. To get to your destination now requires a different route. Remember your why for your goal. Take a look at your options and adjust your approach. What is the worst that can happen? What can you do to mitigate the risk of this actually happening?

You might need to make some changes that you would rather not make. When you think of your options are you hearing words like “can’t,” “won’t,” or “unable?” If any reason comes to mind that is a block to solutions then you are working from a personal self-worth image and are concerned about what others might think. This too is negative energy and self-destructive.

Step out of yourself and speak to yourself as though you were a friend. Write down all the solutions and changes to approach that come to mind without judgment. What approach would you recommend to your friend? If it did not matter what others thought of you or what you thought of yourself, what approach would you take? I believe you might have an answer now.

The true trap of terrible times is the self-loathing spiral you find yourself in the middle of. Are you experiencing self-love or self-anger? What energy are you pulling in? What energy are you emanating? Step outside yourself and take advise from your closest expert, you. Take the steps you need to take to succeed and let the stories others have to tell amuse them, not you. You can laugh all the way to achieving your goals, you’re just taking a side road to get there.

Take control of your life, what you take in affects who you are. Take control and Kraft your results, Kraft Bravery and Your Business can help you change the story you’re in the middle of.

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Leadership Mistakes have Hidden Costs

At some point you have an opportunity to be in a leadership role, where you need to motivate people to do something on your behalf. You also are open to new ideas in order to be the best that you can be. If you need to choose what to focus on during your time at the helm, put your energy towards mistakes that can cost you money.

Failure to Delegate

The first time I faced the impact of this was when my leader and first mentor asked me some key questions.

  • “Did you hire this staff” to which I said “yes”
  • “Did you train this staff” to which I said “yes”
  • “Do you trust this staff” to which I said “yes”
  • “Then I need you to let them do their job because I need you free to do yours.”

This was a pretty powerful discussion for me. The paradigm I was facing is that I got this position because I was a top performer. As such, when the team was in a bind, it seemed easier for me to take on the extra load and push through the work myself. Meanwhile, I did train and mentor the team, so they had the capability and the tool set to do the work.

By me taking on the overload of work I took away the opportunity for my staff to make overtime pay and I also masked that reality that we needed extra help. When I stepped away from doing the work we had numbers that made sense and actually hired two additional staff to the team.

When you fail to delegate the costly impact is:

  1. You stay late at the office or bring work home

What is happening to your personal life, your family life and your health? Are you focusing on the right things or are you focusing on the many things? Are you maximizing your effectiveness in meetings or are you showing up at all meetings all the time? Leaders who burn both ends of the candle and do not delegate are holding back their own opportunity for growth. If you are not mentoring your replacement, you are not going any further.

  1. You’re living in last minute mode and miss key deadlines

There is nothing worse than feeling like you are functioning in fire drill mode. Life is a marathon and when you are living in a constant sprint mode you burn yourself and those you interact with out very quickly. Your advocates and supporters get tired of the last second requests. Your staff starts to resent the after-hours and weekend assignments. Your leadership starts to devalue your work as it is last minute or way too comprehensive.

Burning your staff out is a demotivator, your team will become gun-shy of your intentions, and you will lose support of your advocates over time. The cost is productivity decreases as motivation decreases and time spent on your last minute changes is time taken away from driving results. Why are you involved in this activity to begin with? Why has this not been delegated to someone else to complete?

Count up the hours this month you spent on re-working a presentation that was ok (just not perfect). Did the information change from the original presentation or did the format change? Now count up the hours spent on the re-work times the number of people involved plus materials wasted. What are you costing the organization now?

  1. You’re feeling stressed or under constant pressure

Stress impacts your health, your focus and your ability to solve problems. When you are constantly under pressure it impacts your ability to see the bigger picture. When you are not looking ahead then you are focused on the details that can keep you stuck. When you hold onto work and do not delegate to your team you put undue stress on yourself, your position and your personal life.

You eventually start to feel as though you are unable to manage your time. This will result in resentment toward your company and may reflect onto your staff. Stress is a major factor in job burn-out and strained interactions with staff, peers and leadership. This emotional reflection of you is a detractor to a healthy and productive work environment.

Learn to let go of the reins, develop a strong team and trust your staff to want to do an outstanding job. Get clear with what you want, get specific with why you want it and take action today.

Kraft Bravery and Your Business, unfocused, unbalanced or unhappy, get unstuck while you uncover how to achieve your dreams.

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