All posts in Kraft Bravery

Rejection, Real and Imagined

Unwanted2

Have you ever had the feeling that what you are doing misses the mark? Have you ever been stuck, even temporarily, in a situation where you knew you were not wanted?

Whether in your personal life or in business, feeling unwanted or rejected is something you probably have experienced at some point in your life. Finding the root, exploring what this feeling is telling you, and acting on resolution are keys to finding your way through to a healthy outcome.

Rejection can be painful, whether real or imagined, and this feeling stems from a need to belong. The human race is a tribal animal and when you feel shunned, unwanted, or ignored you feel cut off from “family.” When this happens it is important to examine the situation, connect with who you really are, and create a plan of action for swift resolution.

Part of feeling whole includes receiving affirmation from a steady, reliable, and trustworthy source yet many of you also have a profound desire for deeper connection. This sense of belonging emotionally, spiritually, and universally brings a strength and an anchoring that can sustain you through these “unwanted” moments. This deeper connection with your Self is the only thing you have command of.

Find the root

Rejection is like a seed planted in your life through the experiences you have. Being denied love at some level is its basic root. Your early experiences later rises up at the intensity felt at the root.

Being unwanted in a certain circumstance may be a reality but how you feel about that situation and how you navigate through it is totally under your control. Explore your feeling and think of the first time you may have felt this way. Are you reacting to the actual circumstance you are currently in or are you reacting to something from the past?

What are some of the examples of past events that may be showing up in your current reality?

As a child you might have been deprived of a close relationship with parents:

Moms outside the home and is not around

Dad may work long hours away from home

One or both parent(s) devote too little time to you

One or both have passed away

You may have had some form of abuse in your household:

Verbal abuse such as “you never do anything right” or “you are stupid!”

Physical abuse creates immediate fear and confusion

Sexual abuse creates an immediate victim reality and creates a sense of rejection

These are simply examples of root causes to help you explore what your reality might be. Take out some paper and begin to journal about your thoughts around what your first recollection of feeling exactly like you do right now might be… This is your root of feeling unwontedness and one for you to explore.

What this feeling is telling you

This feeling of rejection also has a solid foot in fear; and fear is a tool your subconscious mind uses to keep you safe. Sometimes this is appropriate and sometimes your reaction, as you discovered earlier, is a reaction from your history, your past experiences.

So what are you being protected from? What is the lesson your subconscious is trying to tell you? What is the gift you receive from this past and current experience? How can you bring this lesson to the present and incorporate it into your daily life?

Open up to your Self and explore the possibilities and the opportunities of learning from your original experience and realize that today’s reaction may be dis-proportionate to your actual reality.

Resolution to a healthy outcome

As with all dis-empowering states the first and most powerful step to change is to change your physiology. Sit up straight, raise your chin, breathe deeply and smile! Remember all the positive things that also have happened this day and know that you have the power to change everything.

Immediate change – Remember, you are not your feelings but you are so much more. These feelings are not reality, but are the past seeping into the present. Imagine these as an object that you can remove from You and put aside in a chair. Then you are able to have a conversation with You about being present now and the reality of today. And, if you are, in fact, being rejected, shunned or unwanted, so what is your next step?

Subsequent change – write out your options to remove yourself from this situation of being unwanted. With each option if fear arises then examine what this really is about? If you cry, let this flow as this is simply energy moving through you. Change requires the movement of energy and crying is a release of pent up energy. Make your list, address your concerns in a positive manner and create your plan for change.

Final change – It is now time to execute the plan you created. Along the way you may have a moment of hesitation, of second-guessing, or of fear. You made a plan and addressed your concerns. Re-read and re-write your resolution to your concerns. Look for help to navigate through this and set yourself free!

Finding your way through to a healthy outcome requires taking an honest look at your root reaction, your current situation, and your alternative choices for change. Change your perception, change your physiology, and change your situation. You have the power to control your life, go ahead and take the reins.

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Powerful Thoughts

They’re only words, they don’t really mean anything; it’s the intention of the speaker that matters. Is this really true? Do you even know the true intention behind the words someone else uses? Can you honestly say you have never used words with harmful intentions at some point in your life?

As Homo-sapiens we think in pictures and feelings and have learned to translate them into language patterns. The result is that your words are linked to pictures and feelings. So how can you really believe it when you say words will never hurt you when language is linked to emotion?

It is also these very words, linked to images and emotions, that have shaped your values, built your belief system and have created your self-image. You have built your world based on what you believe to be true based on feelings and images. Key words and phrases have linked themselves to your emotions and have driven your choices up ‘till now. You reinforce your beliefs with the words you use in your thoughts. Think for a moment, do some of these common “limiting” beliefs people utter sound familiar to you?

  • I ‘m not safe
  • I don’t belong
  • I lack value
  • I am powerless
  • I am defective
  • I’m not good enough

Every time you say or think any of these, and numerous other statements, you are reinforcing your belief system and making choices that prove these to be true for you. Words have the power to sustain your life, to shape your life, and to change your life. Words can change everything as they shift your perspective, change what you know, determine how you interact with people and shape the decisions you ultimately make. They can disillusion you or inspire you to greatness. Why not follow your “I am” statements with empowering language?

  • I am where I belong
  • I have integrity
  • I know that my experienced will make me stronger and wiser
  • I know other people’s behavior is about their beliefs only
  • I focus on the joy in my life and am a positive force in this world

You know you are ready to let go and change your life. Take action right now, and working with Kraft Bravery and Your Business you will get even more out of your career, your business, and your life today.

“if you realized how powerful your thoughtsare, you would never think a negative thought.” ~ Peace Pilgrim

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When Knocking on The Door is Not Enough

mainFor many of you, the search for the right pathway and the means to achieve your goals seems to be the mystery of all time. It often comes down to being at the right place at the right time and knowing the right people when you are ready.

Is it really just dumb luck or is there something else at work here? If it’s just happenstance, then what is the point of planning, projecting and envisioning the life you were meant to have?

Although it seems like some people have all the luck it truly is that these people are open and aware of the opportunities around them each day and know when to be still, and just let the door open. They are working with universal laws of nature and settle into the natural flow.

The Law of Gestation

There is a time for everything to come together. Honor the amount of time it take to realize your objective.

Law of Rhythm

What you focus on, you bring into your life. When the pendulum is down, what are you focusing on:

  • Your bad luck
  • Your lack, whether it be of finances, good health, helpful friends
  • Your anger

There’s a rhythm that occurs at all times and, if you don’t like where you are, focus on where you want to be.

These are just two of the natural laws of the universe to govern the ebb and flow of your life. What can you do to start tapping into these laws and begin “holding space” and allowing your objectives to unfold? Begin by creating and stating your intentions.

Intention is desire in action. Where there is intent, there is purpose and there is action

Hold a conscious intention of the thing you desire. State your intention with the presupposition that this, in some way, is already happening and with the desire for guidance or support. Be sure you are intending to do no harm and your desire is in harmony with you. Trust how you feel when you state your intention and change it if any part of you objects. For example, if you are looking to make more money in your life, then you might state this intention this way:

What more can I do right now to bring even more affluence into my life in a way that is completely in balance with my highest purpose and created from love?

  • Focus on the realness of your intention as if this already exists
  • Think, speak and act as if you already have it
  • Take inspired action as the ways and means to make it a tangible reality
  • Detach and allow the perfection and simplicity of the process to provide the desired results

Trust and the doors of opportunity you knock on will open. Let Kraft Bravery and Your Business help you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Struggling for Solutions

Overcoming hurtles often requires creative thinking.

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words, ideas or solutions? If you are like me, this might even be a daily challenge. When you find yourself creatively challenged, struggling to find that next client, or stuck in the same old rut then it’s time to shake it out and get rid of your cobwebs.

Before you begin, absolutely give yourself credit for having the ability to think creatively in the first place. You’re reading this post aren’t you? That shows you have the willingness to get out of your current frame of mind, break free and move forward and this is great news, isn’t it?.

In the past, was there ever a time where you ran into an obstacle and needed to think creatively to find a solution? What did you do that helped you solve the problem? If you think about it you can see you do have the skill to think creatively, all you need to do now is just sharpen this skill. What can you do to refine that imagination muscle and become even more aware of the potential solutions available now; practice being open to possibilities.

Exercises for your mind

  • Take an ordinary household product (aluminum foil, cereal or bottled water for example) and re-brand the product. How else could this product be used? What marketing strategy, advertising or design should you engage in to bring awareness to this new way of using this product?
  • If you were asked to redesign 2 miles of a downtown city area, what would you do differently? How would you change the traffic, buildings, or transit system? What other uses for this area would you incorporate into this design?
  • If walls could hear and speak, what do you think they might say? Pick a room in the house (dining room, kitchen, or den) and over a given day, what stories do you think you would hear?
  • Write a complete story using no more than six word. Think like a poet using just the right word for just the right perspective.

Tap into your curiosity (What if the world was perfect, you had all the resources needed or there were no barrier to your success) and let the ideas simply flow. Record your thoughts or write them down without editing. What would happen if this solution were not found? What would not happen if this solution were not found? What more can you do right now to bring the perfect ending to this problem?

When you practice looking at things differently, you build the confidence you need to enhance your creative thinking skills and find yourself open to being even more aware of possibilities and solutions flow smoothly and effortlessly to you and it’s nice to know that, isn’t it?

Take action right now, you know you are ready to let go and change your life right here and right now. Contact Kraft Bravery and Your Business and get even more out of your life, your career and your business today.

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A King’s Lesson

If you have not watched The Lion King lately then it just might be time for a review. There are gifts and lessons sprinkled throughout this movie and not so subtly either. Why not take a little time and reflect on one or two lessons each day and see what happens. Your business, your career and your life just might take an upswing.

Let’s check out a few right here and right now.

  1. Zimba “I know what I have to do. But going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.”

 

Can you relate to any of this? Have you ever had the experience of repeating the same mistake over and over again at work or in your life? Have you ever thought that you just could not face your past? Is there every a time that you believe you’ve been hiding from the past?

If you find that you have been running for so long then it’s time to let go. It is time to learn how to forgive yourself. Be honest with yourself, be gentle and be loving. Everything that has happened has a lesson for you to explore. Learn from your history and be thankful for the lesson then lovingly let it go.

  1. Rafiki: “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.”…

 

Think about this statement for a moment and test it for reality. If what is truly real in this world is right now, this moment and what you can tangibly connect with then why are you living in a movie set of your past life? What do you gain from resurrecting history, its images and its emotions?

The purpose of history is to learn what to do and what not to do and move on. To understand how to be present right now pay close attention to children or pets. They naturally are in the moment and are living life in the “now.” Observe, get curious, and notice your focus; practice staying in the moment and loving the moment you’re in.

  1. Zimba:” I laugh in the face of danger ahhhhhahahaha!”

 

Danger, or fear, are situation that can freeze you in your tracks. It’s what makes leaders reframe bad news before reporting complete facts, it’s what makes people tell little white lies to “protect” someone from hurt, it’s what holds you back from the greatness you were meant to be. It is you being held back by a situation or result that has not happened.

Rather than succumb to fear reframe the situation and think of it as a fun event. Take a look at fear and get really excited about the changes about to occur in your life and the new roads you are heading down. Get comfortable in the knowing that something wonderful is going to happen and you are stepping into your life with laughter.

Because you already know about living in the now with unstoppable confidence, it just helps to remember. After all, we’re all in this together and a little focus and confidence goes a very long way and it’s good to know this, isn’t it?

More lessons from the Lion King and more are yours for the asking. Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Let Your Quest Begin!

Zen stone path in a Japanese Garden

Zen stone path in a Japanese Garden

Do you or anyone you know make statements such as, “I’m invisible,” “I feel stuck and frustrated,” or “There is something else I am supposed to be doing?” You are not alone and there is good news! There are steps you can take to become visible, to feel empowered and to move in your life’s direction. This is your personal quest and you never ending story.

Before you can begin your journey it’s time to start dreaming again. Dreams help you build a solid vision and with vision you have passion and with passion you are able to set meaningful goals. So are you in? Then let’s begin your personal quest. Go ahead and find a favorite spot to think and dream; this might be a favorite coffee shop, a park, or a special room in your home. Go wherever it helps you to think, relax and have fun while you begin your journey.

Get Curious

If this were the perfect world, no financial constraints, no technology constraints and you were fully capable, what makes your heart sing?

  • What do you currently do or want to do?
  • What types of people would you love to work with?
  • What environment is important to you?
  • Why are these important to you?

Answer these questions with as many items as you can. This should be a long list and may take you some time. Have fun and be creative.

Now, what is one thing that you long to have more of in your life? Did this show up in your exercise? If not, then add it and expand on what this would mean for you.

Get Specific

Now take your list and prioritize it and where there are similarities combine them. Based on these results what is the #1 thing you would like to be doing right now? Now answer these questions fully and completely.

  • What does ________ mean?
  • What doesn’t _______ mean?
  • I have ____________ in my life because?
  • I don’t have _________ in my life because?

Let the Quest Begin

It’s time to gather information about your dream. Identify at least 2 people you know (or get introduced to 2 people) who are in the field/industry you are targeting. Invite them out to coffee (this is a 30 minute commitment only) to explore what they do. Explain that you are looking at opportunities in this area and want to learn about the climate today and how things are changing. You want to ask questions such as:

  • What is it about what you do that excites you every morning?
  • If you had to pick one, what is your biggest challenge and how would you like to see it resolved?

You can add other questions based on the answers you get, remember this is a short meeting and it is about them. At the end of the meeting, recap what you heard with an emphasis on the good things presented. Let this person know you are looking for information and would really appreciate it if they could introduce you to someone else (one or two people) you could also interview. An email introduction would be great.

Have an introductory email script ready before your meeting so you can give this to your interviewee to use as an introduction to their referral you are asking for. This way they have what you want them to say and they are not uncomfortable creating the email on your behalf.

At the end of your quest (two or three months) you will have a rounded view of the industry you are considering and you can see where your current capabilities might fit. Now you can build your plan to enter the world of the career you are passionate about. GO FOR IT!

Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as a powerful resource for you, to empower you to become as focused and clear on your goals as possible. And we both know this is what you desire too so now is the time to make an empowered decision and schedule your coaching sessions today. There is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Blowing Your Training Budget

How often have you sent your team to training only to find, 6 weeks later, nothing has changed? How often have you yourself gone to training, only to find you return to your previous routine and thought processes? Why is it that you want improvement yet seem to miss the mark?

When selecting a training course, business leaders many times are looking to change something in their culture such as improved communication skills, increased sales, or excellence in management execution. The problem here is in the training selection process and then in the follow through.

Your selection process

Exactly what is it that you are trying to achieve? Is what you want truly in alignment with your company’s core values? Are you willing and able to follow through and do what it takes to commit to the successful incorporation of this learning into your processes and into your culture?

There are many stories where an organization spends training dollars on their management team so they learn how to do a better job at hiring and retaining excellent resources. The managers may even have a script or a program to help with the selection process. They check all the boxes and follow the process to the letter and hire the perfect candidate. Why is it then that within 2 years that resource is gone, either leaving the organization or being asked to leave?

Based on the screening process, this candidate thought they were entering into a certain culture with specific values. During the screening process, the hiring manager’s selection process was based on a set of criteria that was placed upon him/her and may not really be in alignment with the company’s true value system.

This is not the fault of the training provided nor is it the fault of the organization’s leadership team. This is the fault of a belief that given the right training an organization’s culture and results can change. The real nugget to success and improvement is getting to the core of what your company’s values really are, openly and honestly; warts and all. Then your search is for the candidate that aligns with those values, a win-win.

Your follow through

You are a leader that understands your company’s core values and you seek training that supports and enhances these values. So why is sustainable and lasting change missing the mark? What is going on when your team, department and company is psyched and ready to go after training and still fizzles out within 2 months?

Practice… we all need to practice change, step into it on our own time and look for support along the way. According to the 2010 Executive Coaching Survey, conducted by the Conference Board, 63% of organizations use some form of internal coaching, and half of the rest plan to.

The problem still lies in that coaching is just a small part of a manager’s job description, less than 10% of their time is focused on coaching and most of that time is really the old one-to-one management meeting.; giving reviews, holding occasional meetings and offering advice. Effective coaching focuses on behavior shifts, specific actions and exploiting strengths.

Part of the training budget should also include training leadership with outside coaching. Having an outside coach who is focused on your results and detached from internal politics propels results forward as this coach is focused on leadership skills and change management. This coaching is asking rather than telling, is provoking thought rather than giving directions and is holding a person accountable for his or her goals.

So stop blowing your budget on training and seeing no real tangible results. You just need to invest these dollars wisely in programs that fit with your values and take the necessary steps to support the integration of this training with coaching for your leadership team. You know you are ready to bring your business results to levels beyond your wildest dreams. You know you are committed to being seen as an industry leader and innovator. You know you have the desire to invest wisely for lasting results. Just go ahead and make that commitment to you and your team today. Hire a coach to help you focus on your true core values and begin integrating lasting change that reaps true results on your investment.

Kraft Bravery and Your Business, together we identify key core values, set just the right goals and develop an on-going program to propel you towards your success. http://gailkraft.com/contact-us/

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Kiss Advice-givers Goodbye

Seven Secrets to Success, Three Keys to Market Your Stuff, One Sure Fire Way to Make the Grade, and so much more. You’ve followed all the how-to guides to the letter. You’ve made your check-off list on the 10 keys to success. You joined all the inspirational programs and network groups in the area. So why is all this still not working?

It is not possible to provide complete information in short bites and the information being shared is probably not custom tailored to your specific need at this particular moment. Let’s take, for example, a blog I did on leadership don’ts. I covered five key behaviors that will sink your success but this post did not identify which is your key issue or what is your underlying reason for this behavior.

There is one thing I know for sure, there are plenty of people available to give you advice, direction and secret formula’s but there is only one unique and very special you. The key to your success is to unlock exactly what is right for you, take a self-exploratory journey, and authentically know who you are, warts and all.

With every decision you make, be brave enough to ask yourself why you did this. Does this serve the higher ground or could a better decision have been made? Do you feel aligned with this decision, does it feel right, and no part of you is uncomfortable with the results? If you had a do-over, what would you do differently and why? How would that be a better outcome? With every step breath you take are you comfortable with your choices? Are you open, honest and vulnerable with your honesty?

There are many choices you make each and every day. Be sure you build your life on choices that resonate with you. Once you become rock solid in knowing who you are, loving the “you” that emerges and honoring yourself the next evolution is to know and honor others. It is in this knowing that you are in a position to then be aware of selecting the information around you that aligns with you and where you are going. You actually set better goals, get better results and connect with better people. This year choose to be the authentic you and let the world in.

Kraft Bravery and Your Business will work with you to connect with your core and take your next step to achieving your goals.

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Drat! Failed Again!

Goals, objectives, dreams and aspirations, what purpose do these serve?

I’ve been in business for over 20 years and played in rolls from board member to file clerk. I’ve been a corporate leader and a solentrepeneur. I’ve been extremely successful and extremely not. So what are some of the lessons learned throughout these experiences?

You’ve heard it before, it’s the journey that holds the reward. Let me share what I’ve discovered and what this means for you.

Without a goal you are directionless, like a ship without a rudder. You are adrift in this life and just move from moment to moment and survive.

Many of you will never ask “why am I here” and many of you who do ask will find the answer elusive. Those of you who move through this existence without an objective are the very same people who complain, gossip and are jealous of what others have. You are the have and have not’s and have not clearly defined what YOU want. Your life is stressful, unhappy and purposeless.

Many of you have worked on setting goals, articulating affirmations and actively set plans in motion only to miss the mark. You see this as failure, you internalize this feeling and that is what you become. Those who relate just a wee bit with this try this for a moment. Was the planning fun? Did visioning the possibilities bring you joy? Did the action you took motivate you and excite you? So where is the failure in that?

My lessons for you in setting goals and absolutely LOVING YOUR LIFE are:

Honestly Know Your Why
Be sure there is not ONE thread of why that is self-serving. Be specific about your cause and be honest about your belief. For example, all of you “work” to make money. This is tricky, if any part of you is about making money to be wealthy, you are in danger of missing the mark. If your why is to have financial freedom to support others, to allow you the means to give back or to spread your gift as far as possible, this is good. Be sure your why is pure and serves you in a way that also serves others.

Be open and Invite ideas in
Let go of what this goal might materialize as and invite what shows up into your life. Release any per-conceived notions and allow inspiration to settle in. Although I seek council of those more experienced than me in many matters I have discovered that when I follow their path, I fail. When I acknowledge their information and allow my own flavor to emerge, the results are amazing. Allow you to emerge and your ideas to take hold.

Release Attachment to the Results
Know that, once you are clear about your why and once you are open to what shows up, then let it go
As soon as you say the words “want,” “need,” “must,” or use similar language you are inviting in lack of something. Once you acknowledge (subconsciously) the lack of, that becomes your focus, your goal and your result. When you are able to “give it up to the universe” and let it go, you can change your focus and move forward. Detach from any expected results.

The New Year is approaching and it’s time for you to set goals. Be clear, authentic, be unattached to what the results might look like. Then hang on to your seat and enjoy the ride.

Kraft Bravery and Your Business, transforming you, your career and your life. Let’s work on your goals this year!

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