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Rejection, Real and Imagined

Unwanted2

Have you ever had the feeling that what you are doing misses the mark? Have you ever been stuck, even temporarily, in a situation where you knew you were not wanted?

Whether in your personal life or in business, feeling unwanted or rejected is something you probably have experienced at some point in your life. Finding the root, exploring what this feeling is telling you, and acting on resolution are keys to finding your way through to a healthy outcome.

Rejection can be painful, whether real or imagined, and this feeling stems from a need to belong. The human race is a tribal animal and when you feel shunned, unwanted, or ignored you feel cut off from “family.” When this happens it is important to examine the situation, connect with who you really are, and create a plan of action for swift resolution.

Part of feeling whole includes receiving affirmation from a steady, reliable, and trustworthy source yet many of you also have a profound desire for deeper connection. This sense of belonging emotionally, spiritually, and universally brings a strength and an anchoring that can sustain you through these “unwanted” moments. This deeper connection with your Self is the only thing you have command of.

Find the root

Rejection is like a seed planted in your life through the experiences you have. Being denied love at some level is its basic root. Your early experiences later rises up at the intensity felt at the root.

Being unwanted in a certain circumstance may be a reality but how you feel about that situation and how you navigate through it is totally under your control. Explore your feeling and think of the first time you may have felt this way. Are you reacting to the actual circumstance you are currently in or are you reacting to something from the past?

What are some of the examples of past events that may be showing up in your current reality?

As a child you might have been deprived of a close relationship with parents:

Moms outside the home and is not around

Dad may work long hours away from home

One or both parent(s) devote too little time to you

One or both have passed away

You may have had some form of abuse in your household:

Verbal abuse such as “you never do anything right” or “you are stupid!”

Physical abuse creates immediate fear and confusion

Sexual abuse creates an immediate victim reality and creates a sense of rejection

These are simply examples of root causes to help you explore what your reality might be. Take out some paper and begin to journal about your thoughts around what your first recollection of feeling exactly like you do right now might be… This is your root of feeling unwontedness and one for you to explore.

What this feeling is telling you

This feeling of rejection also has a solid foot in fear; and fear is a tool your subconscious mind uses to keep you safe. Sometimes this is appropriate and sometimes your reaction, as you discovered earlier, is a reaction from your history, your past experiences.

So what are you being protected from? What is the lesson your subconscious is trying to tell you? What is the gift you receive from this past and current experience? How can you bring this lesson to the present and incorporate it into your daily life?

Open up to your Self and explore the possibilities and the opportunities of learning from your original experience and realize that today’s reaction may be dis-proportionate to your actual reality.

Resolution to a healthy outcome

As with all dis-empowering states the first and most powerful step to change is to change your physiology. Sit up straight, raise your chin, breathe deeply and smile! Remember all the positive things that also have happened this day and know that you have the power to change everything.

Immediate change – Remember, you are not your feelings but you are so much more. These feelings are not reality, but are the past seeping into the present. Imagine these as an object that you can remove from You and put aside in a chair. Then you are able to have a conversation with You about being present now and the reality of today. And, if you are, in fact, being rejected, shunned or unwanted, so what is your next step?

Subsequent change – write out your options to remove yourself from this situation of being unwanted. With each option if fear arises then examine what this really is about? If you cry, let this flow as this is simply energy moving through you. Change requires the movement of energy and crying is a release of pent up energy. Make your list, address your concerns in a positive manner and create your plan for change.

Final change – It is now time to execute the plan you created. Along the way you may have a moment of hesitation, of second-guessing, or of fear. You made a plan and addressed your concerns. Re-read and re-write your resolution to your concerns. Look for help to navigate through this and set yourself free!

Finding your way through to a healthy outcome requires taking an honest look at your root reaction, your current situation, and your alternative choices for change. Change your perception, change your physiology, and change your situation. You have the power to control your life, go ahead and take the reins.

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Powerful Thoughts

They’re only words, they don’t really mean anything; it’s the intention of the speaker that matters. Is this really true? Do you even know the true intention behind the words someone else uses? Can you honestly say you have never used words with harmful intentions at some point in your life?

As Homo-sapiens we think in pictures and feelings and have learned to translate them into language patterns. The result is that your words are linked to pictures and feelings. So how can you really believe it when you say words will never hurt you when language is linked to emotion?

It is also these very words, linked to images and emotions, that have shaped your values, built your belief system and have created your self-image. You have built your world based on what you believe to be true based on feelings and images. Key words and phrases have linked themselves to your emotions and have driven your choices up ‘till now. You reinforce your beliefs with the words you use in your thoughts. Think for a moment, do some of these common “limiting” beliefs people utter sound familiar to you?

  • I ‘m not safe
  • I don’t belong
  • I lack value
  • I am powerless
  • I am defective
  • I’m not good enough

Every time you say or think any of these, and numerous other statements, you are reinforcing your belief system and making choices that prove these to be true for you. Words have the power to sustain your life, to shape your life, and to change your life. Words can change everything as they shift your perspective, change what you know, determine how you interact with people and shape the decisions you ultimately make. They can disillusion you or inspire you to greatness. Why not follow your “I am” statements with empowering language?

  • I am where I belong
  • I have integrity
  • I know that my experienced will make me stronger and wiser
  • I know other people’s behavior is about their beliefs only
  • I focus on the joy in my life and am a positive force in this world

You know you are ready to let go and change your life. Take action right now, and working with Kraft Bravery and Your Business you will get even more out of your career, your business, and your life today.

“if you realized how powerful your thoughtsare, you would never think a negative thought.” ~ Peace Pilgrim

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When Knocking on The Door is Not Enough

mainFor many of you, the search for the right pathway and the means to achieve your goals seems to be the mystery of all time. It often comes down to being at the right place at the right time and knowing the right people when you are ready.

Is it really just dumb luck or is there something else at work here? If it’s just happenstance, then what is the point of planning, projecting and envisioning the life you were meant to have?

Although it seems like some people have all the luck it truly is that these people are open and aware of the opportunities around them each day and know when to be still, and just let the door open. They are working with universal laws of nature and settle into the natural flow.

The Law of Gestation

There is a time for everything to come together. Honor the amount of time it take to realize your objective.

Law of Rhythm

What you focus on, you bring into your life. When the pendulum is down, what are you focusing on:

  • Your bad luck
  • Your lack, whether it be of finances, good health, helpful friends
  • Your anger

There’s a rhythm that occurs at all times and, if you don’t like where you are, focus on where you want to be.

These are just two of the natural laws of the universe to govern the ebb and flow of your life. What can you do to start tapping into these laws and begin “holding space” and allowing your objectives to unfold? Begin by creating and stating your intentions.

Intention is desire in action. Where there is intent, there is purpose and there is action

Hold a conscious intention of the thing you desire. State your intention with the presupposition that this, in some way, is already happening and with the desire for guidance or support. Be sure you are intending to do no harm and your desire is in harmony with you. Trust how you feel when you state your intention and change it if any part of you objects. For example, if you are looking to make more money in your life, then you might state this intention this way:

What more can I do right now to bring even more affluence into my life in a way that is completely in balance with my highest purpose and created from love?

  • Focus on the realness of your intention as if this already exists
  • Think, speak and act as if you already have it
  • Take inspired action as the ways and means to make it a tangible reality
  • Detach and allow the perfection and simplicity of the process to provide the desired results

Trust and the doors of opportunity you knock on will open. Let Kraft Bravery and Your Business help you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Struggling for Solutions

Overcoming hurtles often requires creative thinking.

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words, ideas or solutions? If you are like me, this might even be a daily challenge. When you find yourself creatively challenged, struggling to find that next client, or stuck in the same old rut then it’s time to shake it out and get rid of your cobwebs.

Before you begin, absolutely give yourself credit for having the ability to think creatively in the first place. You’re reading this post aren’t you? That shows you have the willingness to get out of your current frame of mind, break free and move forward and this is great news, isn’t it?.

In the past, was there ever a time where you ran into an obstacle and needed to think creatively to find a solution? What did you do that helped you solve the problem? If you think about it you can see you do have the skill to think creatively, all you need to do now is just sharpen this skill. What can you do to refine that imagination muscle and become even more aware of the potential solutions available now; practice being open to possibilities.

Exercises for your mind

  • Take an ordinary household product (aluminum foil, cereal or bottled water for example) and re-brand the product. How else could this product be used? What marketing strategy, advertising or design should you engage in to bring awareness to this new way of using this product?
  • If you were asked to redesign 2 miles of a downtown city area, what would you do differently? How would you change the traffic, buildings, or transit system? What other uses for this area would you incorporate into this design?
  • If walls could hear and speak, what do you think they might say? Pick a room in the house (dining room, kitchen, or den) and over a given day, what stories do you think you would hear?
  • Write a complete story using no more than six word. Think like a poet using just the right word for just the right perspective.

Tap into your curiosity (What if the world was perfect, you had all the resources needed or there were no barrier to your success) and let the ideas simply flow. Record your thoughts or write them down without editing. What would happen if this solution were not found? What would not happen if this solution were not found? What more can you do right now to bring the perfect ending to this problem?

When you practice looking at things differently, you build the confidence you need to enhance your creative thinking skills and find yourself open to being even more aware of possibilities and solutions flow smoothly and effortlessly to you and it’s nice to know that, isn’t it?

Take action right now, you know you are ready to let go and change your life right here and right now. Contact Kraft Bravery and Your Business and get even more out of your life, your career and your business today.

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Why Can’t I Make You Happy

 

Conflict Between CoupleHave you or someone you know ever tried to fix a problem by making someone else happy? Have you ever said words such as “what is it you need me to do?” Have you ever felt frustrated in a situation that seemed to be spiraling down and out of your control? You try to please people because you are afraid of being alone, of not being liked or of being judged yet this can have a negative impact on your personal relationships and it is a losing position to be in for your career.

There was a time in my life when I did whatever it took to make others happy; I called it being “flexible.” During the day I made customers, bosses and peers happy and during the evening I made my family and friends happy. I was meeting everyone else’s needs yet didn’t even know what mine were? Can any of you relate to that?

I found myself not wanting to walk in the house when I got home, I found myself frustrated driving to the office, and I found myself crying in the Lady’s room before meetings. Even worse, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS WRONG!

I still lost friends, I still lost jobs and I definitely lost myself. If you or someone you know is in this position even a little bit there is great news, YOU CAN CHANGE this around. The great thing is that once you start down this path of self-discovery it gets easier and it is fun. Are you ready for the secret? Do you believe you can handle the change? Are you willing to put some thought into yourself? Well here it is:

Love yourself, love those you interact with and look at problems as opportunities to expand your heart.

Take a few moments right now and write down the most recent thoughts you’ve had about yourself. Do you hear yourself saying things like “I can’t believe I did that,” “I can’t do anything right.” Or “I’m not good enough?” How can you please anyone else if you are unhappy with yourself? Let’s practice right now and take these statements and change them to positive reflections of yourself. Things like “Wow, look what I just did,” “Marvelous, what can I learn,” or “I am fabulous and have exactly what it takes to succeed,”

Mistakes, missing the mark, are the moments in your life where you can grow and become more than the amazing person you already are right now. Problems present themselves when you are ready to grow and they are there for you to love yourself even more as you figure them out. Here are some steps you can take to get started.

When you find yourself asking “what are they going to think of me” stop and take a breath. If this “thing” is something you want to do, if it causes no harm and if it resonates (feels right) with you then say out loud “I love the choices I make and I am ok with what others think.” Practice really feeling good with your decision to let it go. Love yourself and respect the fact that others may not agree. People all have different histories and different perspectives so there will always be someone who disagrees.

Problems are there for you to learn and grow even more. You are presented with a chance to get a gift and a lesson with every challenge. Before making a decision to react ask yourself “what is the gift in this for me that will have a positive outcome and is intended for me to grow even more?” Then listen to the very first answer you get. You are learning to love yourself even more with every answer.

You can take the next step now because you are confident about where you are. You find that you truly love who you are and trust your response to challenges with the end result being that what others think is just not an issue. Begin your journey to being happier and watch as new people come into your life, old problems melt away and exciting opportunities present themselves to you.

More steps to knowing your purpose and your power are yours. Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much more that we can accomplish when we’re together

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A King’s Lesson

If you have not watched The Lion King lately then it just might be time for a review. There are gifts and lessons sprinkled throughout this movie and not so subtly either. Why not take a little time and reflect on one or two lessons each day and see what happens. Your business, your career and your life just might take an upswing.

Let’s check out a few right here and right now.

  1. Zimba “I know what I have to do. But going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.”

 

Can you relate to any of this? Have you ever had the experience of repeating the same mistake over and over again at work or in your life? Have you ever thought that you just could not face your past? Is there every a time that you believe you’ve been hiding from the past?

If you find that you have been running for so long then it’s time to let go. It is time to learn how to forgive yourself. Be honest with yourself, be gentle and be loving. Everything that has happened has a lesson for you to explore. Learn from your history and be thankful for the lesson then lovingly let it go.

  1. Rafiki: “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.”…

 

Think about this statement for a moment and test it for reality. If what is truly real in this world is right now, this moment and what you can tangibly connect with then why are you living in a movie set of your past life? What do you gain from resurrecting history, its images and its emotions?

The purpose of history is to learn what to do and what not to do and move on. To understand how to be present right now pay close attention to children or pets. They naturally are in the moment and are living life in the “now.” Observe, get curious, and notice your focus; practice staying in the moment and loving the moment you’re in.

  1. Zimba:” I laugh in the face of danger ahhhhhahahaha!”

 

Danger, or fear, are situation that can freeze you in your tracks. It’s what makes leaders reframe bad news before reporting complete facts, it’s what makes people tell little white lies to “protect” someone from hurt, it’s what holds you back from the greatness you were meant to be. It is you being held back by a situation or result that has not happened.

Rather than succumb to fear reframe the situation and think of it as a fun event. Take a look at fear and get really excited about the changes about to occur in your life and the new roads you are heading down. Get comfortable in the knowing that something wonderful is going to happen and you are stepping into your life with laughter.

Because you already know about living in the now with unstoppable confidence, it just helps to remember. After all, we’re all in this together and a little focus and confidence goes a very long way and it’s good to know this, isn’t it?

More lessons from the Lion King and more are yours for the asking. Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as your resource, to empower you to become as focused and clear as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and transform your life, your business and your career today. Contact us now, there is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Let Go of Knowing and Learn

Knowledge

Knowledge

In learning and decision making you have a history of experiences you rely on that create your understanding of the world, we call this knowledge. If you actually take a moment and reflect on what infinite possibilities exist regarding knowing then you realize that your “knowledge” probably accounts for > 0.1% of all there is to know right now. So the first step to understanding and knowing is to let go of the concept that you already know. The Greek philosopher Socrates stated that all wisdom begins with wondering, therefore you must begin with admitting your ignorance.

 “… I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.”

Understanding that you don’t know opens you to new information and puts you in a place of power. It can improve your choices in life, because it’s an honest view of your knowledge and capabilities, as well as your ignorance and limitations.

So how do you let go and open up to the infinite possibilities around you? You can begin by getting curious.

  • Question your assumptions
    1. Where did this belief come from
    2. What evidence is there to support this belief
    3. What evidence would help support this belief being false
  • Learn from experiments
    1. Has anything changed since this belief was created
    2. If I look at this from another’s perspective is this still true (what would someone else say)
    3. If I looked at this from afar is this still true (are there alternative that may be just as valid)
    4. If I held a different belief, what might happen
  • Change your mind
    1. What’s one thing I don’t know that would be really useful in this situation
    2. Does this belief conflict with any other beliefs I hold
    3. If I did something differently, what would be the result

Challenging your beliefs uncovers their root and helps you open up to gaining different perspectives and increases your ability to respond to changes in your world. Be your own watch dog and monitor why you respond the way you do, why you make the decisions you make and why do you have the results you have. When you keep an open mind about your beliefs and the possibility that you don’t have all the facts you see the possibility of alternatives and expand your options in everything you do.

Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as a resource for you, to empower you to become as focused and clear on your goals as possible. Now is the time to make an empowered decision and schedule your coaching sessions today. There is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

 

 

 

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Let Your Quest Begin!

Zen stone path in a Japanese Garden

Zen stone path in a Japanese Garden

Do you or anyone you know make statements such as, “I’m invisible,” “I feel stuck and frustrated,” or “There is something else I am supposed to be doing?” You are not alone and there is good news! There are steps you can take to become visible, to feel empowered and to move in your life’s direction. This is your personal quest and you never ending story.

Before you can begin your journey it’s time to start dreaming again. Dreams help you build a solid vision and with vision you have passion and with passion you are able to set meaningful goals. So are you in? Then let’s begin your personal quest. Go ahead and find a favorite spot to think and dream; this might be a favorite coffee shop, a park, or a special room in your home. Go wherever it helps you to think, relax and have fun while you begin your journey.

Get Curious

If this were the perfect world, no financial constraints, no technology constraints and you were fully capable, what makes your heart sing?

  • What do you currently do or want to do?
  • What types of people would you love to work with?
  • What environment is important to you?
  • Why are these important to you?

Answer these questions with as many items as you can. This should be a long list and may take you some time. Have fun and be creative.

Now, what is one thing that you long to have more of in your life? Did this show up in your exercise? If not, then add it and expand on what this would mean for you.

Get Specific

Now take your list and prioritize it and where there are similarities combine them. Based on these results what is the #1 thing you would like to be doing right now? Now answer these questions fully and completely.

  • What does ________ mean?
  • What doesn’t _______ mean?
  • I have ____________ in my life because?
  • I don’t have _________ in my life because?

Let the Quest Begin

It’s time to gather information about your dream. Identify at least 2 people you know (or get introduced to 2 people) who are in the field/industry you are targeting. Invite them out to coffee (this is a 30 minute commitment only) to explore what they do. Explain that you are looking at opportunities in this area and want to learn about the climate today and how things are changing. You want to ask questions such as:

  • What is it about what you do that excites you every morning?
  • If you had to pick one, what is your biggest challenge and how would you like to see it resolved?

You can add other questions based on the answers you get, remember this is a short meeting and it is about them. At the end of the meeting, recap what you heard with an emphasis on the good things presented. Let this person know you are looking for information and would really appreciate it if they could introduce you to someone else (one or two people) you could also interview. An email introduction would be great.

Have an introductory email script ready before your meeting so you can give this to your interviewee to use as an introduction to their referral you are asking for. This way they have what you want them to say and they are not uncomfortable creating the email on your behalf.

At the end of your quest (two or three months) you will have a rounded view of the industry you are considering and you can see where your current capabilities might fit. Now you can build your plan to enter the world of the career you are passionate about. GO FOR IT!

Kraft Bravery and Your Business helps you transform your career and your life. Contact me today for more support in getting more out of your life right now. I am simply here as a powerful resource for you, to empower you to become as focused and clear on your goals as possible. And we both know this is what you desire too so now is the time to make an empowered decision and schedule your coaching sessions today. There is so much that we can accomplish when we’re together.

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Hot Gossip

Or is gossip really hot? Have you ever walked away from a conversation with someone and felt drained or exhausted? Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling hurt, upset or angry? Chances are you are reacting to a dialogue of harm you just participated in. Think about your most recent scenario and what exactly was that discussion like? Is it possible that the majority of that discussion was hurtful to someone and gossip based; destructive rather than enlightening and constructive? Gossip is harmful to the person being talked about and it is also harmful to you.
When there is a gap in details we tend to make stuff up and fill in the blanks. You probably know the communication exercise where a story is whispered to one person and by the time it goes around the room the end result is completely different. This is what happens with gossip; the truth is not really being told, but rather a filtered version of what the speaker believes to be true.
Take a moment and reflect on exactly what your conversations are like. You might find many of them are at the expense of another person. When you engage in this type of dialogue are you at your highest level and do you understand how this behavior might affect how people relate to you?
In the very first job I had, my breaks and lunch times were spent with the same group of ladies. What I discovered is that when one woman was not in attendance the others gossiped about her. I quickly realized that I probably was a subject of discussion when not present and made a comment that “we are not all perfect sitting here right now so who are we to judge?” That did not go over really well but it did begin my journey of asking questions like; “what exactly is the intent of this discussion right now? Does this serve the highest purpose possible?”
Gossip also affects:
Your Honesty and Self-Esteem
People begin to see you as a perpetrator of gossip and, even worse, you will begin to see yourself in this light. People will wonder about you and will not feel safe sharing information. As you continue down this path chances are you do not trust yourself and you may be feeling conflicted and confused.
People Get Hurt
Have you ever been the object of gossip or false rumors? Then you understand how harmful this is. Even when the stories are false, you feel betrayed, embarrassed, and angry. When you gossip about people it may be because you’ve just gotten into the habit of this type of dialogue. Whatever your reason, listen to your words and assess the intent of each conversation.
Karma
Everything is energy and as you put out information that is not constructive you create a field around you that attracts like-minded people and events. You are, therefore, most likely associating with people who gossip. Your conversations are at the cost of someone else and others are holding conversations at the cost of you. When you change what you talk about and how you speak you change your energy, you change the people you associate with, and you change your choices in life. You have the power to choose the high road, the highest purpose, and the best possible outcome.
The language you use reflects your beliefs and values and ultimately your results. Are you ready to cool your language and make a change right here and right now? Go ahead and let Kraft Bravery and Your Business help you hone your language and get even better results right now
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The Mystery of Words

Do you find, at times, you rant to yourself or to others and use words such as “this is killing me,” “This is too hard.” or “I’m stupid?” Have you ever taken the time to examine how you feel when you use this language, how this affects those around you or how this might determine who and what is attracted to you? Your proclamations are dramatic and prophetic. Your choice of words is a reflection of your energy, the vibration level you are at and, like a magnet, this vibration attracts the people you associate with and determines what opportunities you are aware of. Wouldn’t it be great if you could raise your vibration and attract better choices in your life simply by changing your words?

The words you use reflect your state of mind. Even when you are joking your words mirror how you really feel. What you speak is the truth for you, therefore you create truth from your words. Take a moment and get curious about your language. Are there other choices you could have made to better express yourself in a more positive manner?

What you say, hear, and believe about yourself alchemizes into your internal dialogue and creates the parameters by which you make choices throughout your life. Why not live at the highest vibration? Why not live being aware of the most powerful choices? Why not live with reduced stress and increased joy?

Are you ready to begin? Listen to your language. Begin with disempowering words such as can’t and try and replace these choices with more empowering language. Rather than use can’t try using difficult or challenging. The word try presupposes failure. Why not presuppose success?

Every time you catch yourself using less than empowering language, rephrase and reframe what you are communicating. If you are unable to at the moment, take time a little later write out potential alternatives. Circle any negative word and re-write it again until you have a powerful positive way to communicate your intention.

Embrace your new way of communicating and revise your language into a more powerful, updated reflection of you. Kraft your language, Kraft your life, and Kraft your results today. Kraft Bravery and Your Business can help you change your life today. Go ahead and contact us today.

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