Facing Gossip

In my life I had spent many years making decisions based on what other’s may think. It was important to me that I appeared to be “a good girl” and that I did not ruffle anyone. In Iooking back at some of the “programming” I had, it’s a wonder I ever woke up and took control of my own life.

I was raised hearing phrases like:

  • Keep your dirty laundry inside
  • What will the neighbors say
  • Don’t let your (father, mother, aunt…) know
  • If you don’t do _____________ then you will not be loved

And so much more.

How about you? What are some of the directives you were given that rule your choices, ever so subliminally? Do you realize when you do this and is it really OK with you?

Let’s run a little experiment. What would happen if:

  • You let the dirty laundry out
    • So the neighbors have someone to talk about
    • Why does this matter
      • They’re probably talking about you anyway
      • If they talk about you they are leaving someone else alone for a moment
      • If you are so important in their life then they either have a very small life OR they are really jealous of yours
      • What would happen if you let caring about their life and their response go
        • You might live a freer life
  • You did not care about what the neighbors say
    • Are you afraid that people will talk about you? Maybe it will help if you can understand why they gossip
      • Sometimes people gossip because they are secretly unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives. Talking about you might elevate their perception of themselves
      • Some people feel lonely, and gossip gives them the illusion of connection and they believe they are relating to you
      • Some people feel anger of frustration in their lives and by projecting this onto you, rather than addressing the root of their feelings, they find temporary relief and justification for their own emotions
      • What would happen if you understood their lack in their life and let their gossip go
        • You might live a freer life
  • You did let your (father, mother, aunt…) know
    • Why are you afraid to let people in your life know what is really going on
      • Maybe they will form an opinion of you or those you are involved with that will be less than what they think now
      • Maybe they will form a lower opinion of you and the choices you make
      • Maybe you do not want to hear their anger, their frustration, or their advice on what you should or should not do in this situation
      • Maybe the people in your life are so narrow minded and opinionated they have no room for the difference’s life is rich with
      • What would happen if you understood their smaller frame of reference and let their opinions go
        • You might live a freer life
  • If you did do _____________
    • Why are you afraid of not being loved in your life
      • You are a social animal and the need to belong in your circle (your tribe) is strong
      • Being ostracized (shunned) puts you in isolation and being alone may feel cold
      • You have a strong desire to feel connected to others
      • What would happen if you loved yourself enough to give others enough grace to love you back and forgive whatever it is you believe they may react to
        • You might live a freer life

You have all the power you need within you to take control of your choices and control of your life. You have the ability to get curious about why you react and ask empowering questions about why you make the choices you do. You have the tools available to you to consciously choose to make a change in any given moment.

What would it take for you to set yourself free, to believe in yourself, to know your choices matter?

It takes allowing yourself the freedom to question your perspective and the flexibility to change your point of view while you alter your language. It takes having someone at your side guiding you through the barriers that could hold you back. It takes someone who has done it and is willing to go through it with you.

Let’s talk and see if I am that someone for you. Schedule our discovery meeting today.


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