Have you ever wondered why you tend to look for outside approval? Maybe you know someone who only makes decisions based on peer approval. Why do you think many of you may reach out for input, receive it, and yet feel like something is off kilter?
Think of your upbringing for a moment.
You were raised in an environment where you were programed to look for outside approval. Your parents, school system, society, and organizations exposed you to their rules and expectations and made sure that you would adhere to them. So why do you wonder why you continue to seek approval in order to fit in?
As an adult, this continues as you:
- Seek to make your partner happy
- Seek to make your employer happy
- Seek to make your customer happy
- Seek to make your children/family happy
- And so on
The kicker here is that in the process of seeking approval, seeking external validation, you also lose sight of who you are and what actually makes you happy.
Many of you have had mentors in your life, someone who you believe is successful in their career, doing well financially, or very secure socially. You believe this mentor has it all figured out and this is someone you admire. If you’ve fallen into this trap as I have, then you also might put them up on a pedestal.
And so, you make decisions this person might make, you make choices that would bring them your attention and bring you into their circle, and you change what is important to you based on what seems to be important to them.
Just like you, I was looking for someone else to believe in me.
And then, just like me, you discover the humanness of this person. Flaws, fears, and unhappy with their own choices.
I have learned that when I follow someone else’s key to success, I fail. Why? Because what works for someone else often is not reflective of my values and innate capabilities. It is not a reflection of who I am.
It is important to embrace inspiration from those you admire while knowing you have your own journey and your own strengths you can rely on to make your own choices in life.
It’s your responsibility to look inside for who you are and what you need in this moment.
Create your life
It takes a little practice to learn how to look within for what you need. It requires that you become completely honest with your core values and comfortable with building choices based on supporting them.
Be curious, become aware of what drives you, and use those outside influences as information you can use to gauge what you want in order to make your own choices. Learn to look within to find love, to feel safe, to know acceptance.
You have everything you need within to be whole.
You have all the power you need within you right now to change your perspective on your life. You have the ability to get curious about why you react. You have the tools available to you to consciously choose to make a change in any given moment.
What would it take for you to set yourself free, to believe in yourself, to know your choices matter?
It takes allowing yourself the freedom to question your choices and the flexibility to change your point of view while you listen to what’s important to you. It takes having someone at your side guiding you through the barriers that could hold you back. It takes someone who has done it and is willing to go through it with you.
Let’s talk and see if I am that someone for you. Schedule our discovery meeting today.