As a leadership coach I have discovered my clients will frequently start working with me in order to find purpose, success, or connection. In the process of exploring what holds each one back, we often uncover a fear of failure; fear of losing friends and family, fear of being judged, fear of losing comforts, and so on.
The problem is that life is full of failures.
It is also full of joy, laughter, achievement, love, and so much more. Yet, as you project into the future, you tend not to focus on the possibilities of what you want to achieve, rather you hone in on what you might lose in the process.
Let’s take a journey for a moment and shift your perspective and see if you are able to embrace the realty that failure and vulnerability are essential for learning, personal development, and spiritual growth. You learn, adjust, and grow more from where you miss the mark than from being spot on.
You have to be willing to show your underbelly and allow yourself to make mistakes in order to be true to yourself and grow. If you are not allowing yourself to embrace failure, then you are hiding, burying deep desires, and not living your life to the fullest. As a result, you put yourself in a position of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, your hidden self will be found out, or even worse, your deepest needs will never be met as you put a strong persona forward.
Ether way, you are vulnerable. You are controlling your choices and know you are putting yourself out there, or you are protecting yourself from what “might” happen and hiding behind your wall of defense.
When you are in a defensive position you tend to attack first, hurting those you care about, and hurting yourself along the way.
No judgement here ether way. Vulnerability is a fact of life. It’s true, taking control and opening yourself up to rejection or acceptance is scary. Know that you can get past this and teach yourself to become comfortable with your fear and be honest with what you truly want. You do have what it takes.
YOU ARE WORTHY
Based on her research, Brené Brown, vulnerability researcher, explains in her TED Talk, “There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy.”
Know who you are, warts and all, love yourself, know you deserve everything there is to offer in this life, and watch as the world unfolds before you.
CATCH YOURSELF IN THE ACT
Pay attention to your body, to your language, and to your thought pattern. When you realize that you are resisting exposing who you are, breath, relax, let go of resistance. Give yourself permission to let go, no matter what the outcome. Allow yourself to imagine a great result.
- Relax your shoulders, your jaw, you fists
- Take the next small step forward, regardless
Remember all the hurdles you have already overcome in your life. Remember how you moved forward, even when you didn’t believe you could. Know that you have the strength to adjust and deal with whatever the outcome might be.
This is when you realize that you have all the power you need within you right now. This is how you purposefully take the steps to allow vulnerability to be part of your life and being vulnerable is how you set yourself free.
What would it take for you to set yourself free, to believe in yourself, to know your choices matter?
It takes allowing yourself to be seen, to be open to failure, and to know you can handle the outcome. It takes having someone at your side guiding you through the barriers that could hold you back. It takes someone who has done it and is willing to go through it with you, no judgement.
Let’s talk and see if I am that someone for you. Schedule our meeting today.