How to, need to, should do, must have, and so on, and so on. If you’re like me, you are bombarded with email campaigns telling you one hour, one class, or one retreat will improve your life. Your pages on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and so on have advertisements and posts telling you to listen to this video, read this post, and take these easy steps, and your life will change.
How To
When you read a headline or an article that tells you how to, be aware that this advice has a presupposition that assumes you don’t know. The issue here is that you may need some training or access to tools, but you already know something, or you would not be aware that there is more to learn. How to turn your life around, how to live a better life, or how to create more abundance may be events or articles that have useful information but are just the tip of the iceberg. If it were this simple to make a change then people would be shifting their lives every day. These do not take into consideration your capacity for change or the current trajectory of your life based on past choices.
Need To
When you hear or read the word need, it infers necessity. What if you don’t? What has been wrong with your life because you did not know you needed this? This language invokes underlying beliefs and assumptions that imply you might be less than, and that is not a belief state you wish to be in. You need these tools, you need more of, you need to do… all can be re-framed to statements such as…tools available to add to your tool chest, increase your blah blah and have more, things you can do to, etc.
Should Do and Must Have
Should and must have absolutely “should” be stricken from your language bank. These imply that you don’t do something. Really? In any given day you do something for 24 hours. Framing a sentence using these words trigger an internal dialogue affecting the way you feel about yourself and how you show up in the world. These words fail to motivate action and can make a person feel like s/he is not enough, implying that you are not able to make your own decisions.
Now, I admit, my posts also offer you options to change your life. The difference is that my intention is to provide keys, steps, a few perspectives but also let you know it takes work, guidance, and support to really make a change. One article, one hour, one book, or one seminar may raise your awareness, but does not invoke transformation.
Changing your life takes conscious choice, energetic strategic awareness, and a blueprint that is yours alone.
Choices are yours and guidance is available.
If not now, when?
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