A Lesson of Love
Have you or someone you know had the experience of “Love at First Sight” where a “lightning bolt” strikes, and you know they’re the “One?” How about knowing that this person is your “Soul Mate” and you are just meant to be? Can you remember a time when you just felt a pull toward another and just could not resist?
Many of you have been raised with the Fairy-tale version of what love is meant to be and have built your belief system on how to select a partner based on these stories. This can set you up to creating a version of the person you are engaged with that is unrealistic, and when your expectations are not met, you get hurt, frustrated, or angry. Many times, you really are riding the belief of your story, an image of what love should be, and not completely based in the reality of the moment.
How do you, then, take control over your love life? You begin with embracing a new perspective, making congruent choices, and releasing ideas of what love should be.
A New Perspective
How can you find deep and meaningful love when, in your subconscious mind, you may not fully believe you deserve it? In order for you to be open and available for a special person to walk into your life, you must first be seen as someone available for this love.
Work on truly loving yourself. See yourself with fresh eyes every day, become a student of self-awareness and love. Begin your morning routine by looking at all the amazing things that are you, accept who you are today, and know that you are worthy.
Loving yourself is a continuous process, a journey of self-exploration, and a belief that you are love.
Get in touch with your true core values. Many of you may have a list of values you try to live by, but in most cases, these are beliefs you have learned to be true based on your history yet may have nothing to do with what is important to you and your very soul.
Core values are the foundation on which you live and your guiding light for making choices. When in alignment with your core values, you know the direction to go, what is important to you, and what alternatives feel right. When you have a partner that aligns with your top core values, your relationship has a foundation for growth and nurturing. When you are in a relationship that aligns with your core values you are loving congruently.
Release Ideas of What Love Should Be
Once you have built a belief about loving yourself and that you deserve a special someone; and then have formed clarity around what your core values are when it comes to that special relationship, it is time to examine what your attachment to love looks like.
Many of you have expectations and yet do not examine if they are realistic or do not communicate clearly what that means. For example, you might have an expectation that your partner will support you in your career journey. However, what does that look like to you? Are they to unconditionally support your choices? Are they to be a partner with you on your road to success? Do you both have the same vision of what success looks like when you get there?
Keeping love alive takes work and means releasing preconceived ideas of what the other party should do or be. Communicate and explore expectations, release attachment to anything not congruent with your top core values and explore as many of the infinite possibilities to solutions as you can both think of before making choices.
Love can be magical and can grow even stronger. It takes practice and commitment. It takes choices that are congruent. It takes honoring core values and exploring perspectives.
Achieve love through curiosity and conscious choice.
Gail Kraft, Author, Trainer, Strategist, and Mentor guides her clients in navigating their relationship to life